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Wednesday, December 26, 2007

to waste your time

Mystery Blogging: I feel like I've hacked into the CIA or something.

Temptations abound: I could fuck with Hernandizzle's masterpieces like there's no tomorrow (and without these little gems of illogical blabbering, would there really be a tomorrow?) I could change the color schemes (pastel pink and magenta will do nicely, I think), fiddle with his profile (55-year-old Republican from Little Rock, Arkansas), and delete all his favorite posts and replace them with real works of genius ("How to Kill a Cat: 3 Tried and True Steps" and "How to Fist a Porn Star's Pussy: My First'hand' Experience").

Nah.

If you think about it, Sir Olaf Whatever-he's-calling-himself-these-days is a pretty sneaky cat himself. I mean, no one reads blogs between Christmas and New Year's anyway. People read blogs when they are at work on Monday mornings drinking coffee and procrastinating the day away. Or they read blogs when they are at work on Friday afternoons watching the minutes tick by between 4:45 and 5:00pm. People don't read blogs in between eggnog and champagne hangovers.

...do they?

So you see that handing the bloggerins over to the masses isn't such a risk after all. (And after 1,456 posts, wouldn't you be anxious to get the frickin' load off your paws too?) It's a nice little idea, really. Peeps can chime in endlessly posting about whatever they please, not even leaving the latest post up long enough for an internet-mongering blog-fool to notice, and certain dudes (I won't name names - after all this is a mystery post!) can use the forum as a soap box for Political Serious Talk and other such things-one-might-like-to-preach-to-the-masses-but-nobody-really-gives-a-hoot-about-type-thingies.

Or something.

Anyway I couldn't think of one goddamn thing that I could post here that people might give a hoot about, so I'll just leave you with this instead:

I really did run across a "How to Fist a Pornstar" article some time back. For the life of me I can't remember how I came across it, or why I actually read it the whole way through, but if I ever get in a situation where I would need to... well, you know... not that I would ever want to, but... it's comforting to know that I'd know how to do so properly.

-- not hernando

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Funny shit!! Now that's a post!

hernando said...

killin' me

Anonymous said...

sorry but it is obvious that olaf hernandez is writing all the blogs

you can tell from his writing style!

it is so obvious!

also from the subjects you have said were anonymous posts, it is all stuff you olaf are about~

chatterbox said...

I think this is Lauren! Anyhow, I'm tuning in over the break just because I want to see what the mystery bloggers are up to! Otherwise, I'd be ignoring the whole thing.

lauren said...

this one isn't me.

mine is the one about seeing my parents doing it on x-mas eve one year.

mine is not the mutual of omaha one.

Nome Agusta said...

At least it wasn't another GD video.
The feed through Gotomypc is too slow and I had to unplug the speakers now that I am in cubicleville.

chatterbox said...

lauren - yeah, I knew the parents humping on the couch had to be you - even before I read the comments. That was funny. This one is good, too, whoever the mystery blogger is!

banks said...

Wry and witty, gotta be T. Marie.