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Sunday, December 02, 2007

it's official

first off ...
it's Sunday morning ...

that's time to find your other and press some flesh in bed.

do it.


Guilt will suffice just fine, thank you

Word has echoed up Westridge, swirled around Demo for a couple laps, and hurled itself down Buzzard's Lagoon to slap me upside the head with news ....

Swobo is going to package my ass up for sale and distribution.

That's right, Stevil owed me big for not showing up to our Surf City HallowMass this year ... so, it looks like i've exploited the mea culpa and got his hairy ass to go dumpster diving at the Swobo heedquarters, digging me up something middle-fingery to wear down south while I assault the plastic people.

That race is going to be fucking mayhem. $10K in cashPRIZEmoney ... to only the top 5. That means elbowed fights, shifting alliances, and blood-mercenary payoffs.

bring it. i love this kind of high-stakes velodrama.

and you can bet your bottom, any dollars won will be spent in debauchery immediately thereafter.

But that's not what i really want from Stevil ...


actually there are 2 things i really want from Stevil. I guess i'm going to have to give him some pump action to get both. we'll see.

at the least of it, i'll probably have to go berzerker in one of his evil feats of strength, or something.

i'm willing to sacrifice for it.

THING 1: Stella's scars

you see ...

Single Speed World Championship
2002, Saturday October 12th Downieville, California, USA
From Wikipedia

The 2002 event was the first to awarding the winners branding instead of tattoos. Stella Carey said the branding hurt much less than the pain endured during the race. The brands were applied by professional brander, Michael Hare, of Exotic Body in Sacramento, California.

Additionally Stella and Travis were each awarded a pig trophy. These frames of the trophies were made by welding expert and bike frame maker Rick Hunter. Steve Smith assembled dissected embryo piglets into cylinders of formaldehyde and/or urine held in each trophy. The most memorable moment for the participants was the complimentary Budweiser-in-the-can and BBQ'd hot dogs provided at the top of the initial climb by two drunken, obese men.

Female Winner - Stella Carey (USA)
Male Winner - Travis Brown (USA)

So, here's the narrative ~

When Stella won her 2nd SSWC in 2002 ... she was given that brand -the Holy Grail mark of the beast that most of us can only dream of inflicting upon ourselves. Stella took the burn in style, but upped the ante with what she did after.

Turns out ... Stella watched that branded skin sizzle and pucker and scab over in hateful chips of pain. oh yes, the scabs. I mean, we are talking about a chunk of scalding metal etching a pattern of scorched permanence on your skinsuit.

Anyway, Stella got to picking off all the scabs on her branded, championly violated skin. She picked and pulled those dried remains off her body and then ... do you know what she did then?

Stella carefully, and oh-so-artfully, reassembled each and every one of those scabby, discarded blood-chips of pain onto a sweet little placard, glued and arranged in the exact shape of the original brand on her skin.

... and handed it off to Stevil for posterity.

i want it.

actually, Stella really wants it ... but, she won't get it until after I've had my way with it.

THING 2: portrait of god

and that's all there is to it.

thanks for the hookup, ss. i owes you.


Anonymous said...

stella has the best booty

i want some of that

it has to be a contest between her and the queen bella for most round and rideable and full booty

i love those gals

and you olaf and kereluck are oh so lucky to be getting that stuff nightly

i am so jealous

CyclistRick said...

it's Sunday morning ...

that's time to find your other and press some flesh in bed.

do it.


Anonymous said...

all the girls are soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hot

any chick that rides a bike is a chick flick for me

Anonymous said...

love em, love em, love em.