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Wednesday, November 28, 2007

le randoms on a wed nes day

old and new ... times are short. but, i'll add through the day.
guess excuses for not writing enough are running low. bugger.


With nothing but a few hours to kill on a bike and an abundance of sunshine to play with - today was a clean canvas for contemplation. I thought about starting an early list for the New Year's Resolutions - but, then I realized that would be too much like planning. I'm more of a seat of the pants kind of guy.

Instead of making a wish-list of things I'd like to do and be in the future, I thought I'd kick out a list of things I'll never, ever, NEVER do or be - not in a million, ga-jillion years.

That sounded easier. And so, let us proceed:

I will never...

  1. stop eating chocolate
  2. vote republicant
  3. have a mortgage
  4. be fashionable
  5. buy a new car
  6. own a tv
  7. grow bitter
  8. eat anything made by Kraft
  9. take myself seriously
  10. take life seriously
  11. take another life (seriously)
  12. colonize anything
  13. stop loving music
  14. stop waiving at cyclists
  15. stop being a dork
  16. subscribe to any celebrity magazine
  17. subscribe to any religion
  18. proscribe anything other than rudeness
  19. consider myself finished
  20. stop laughing at the absurdity of it all
  21. love immaturity or thoughtlessness
  22. run out of hot water
    [mmmm....pause for shower]

- - -

Kirk O'bee will work for t-bags

O'bee has won the US Crit champyship twice. He's been a major player in most events he pedaled at. He was 7th at the USPRO road race this year.

and he can't find a job that he'll take the pay at.

ah well.
maybe stolenunderground will give him a salary.
- - -

Electric Bikes ... lead bad, air good

heard word that the electric bike is making a big impression in China these past couple years. Unfortunately, China's biggest city (Shanghai) has banned the use of electric bikes, stating that battery disposal is a hazard and that e-bikers break too many traffic laws while riding.

Shanghai police have impounded e-bikes if they see them being used in the city. But, Shanghai is one of the fastest growing consumer markets for cars in the world.


and ... how popular do you think an e-bike will be in the US?

haaahahahahahahahahahaaaaaa ...



shawndoggy said...

wow, no triscuits, no wheat thins, not even a boca burger? No nutter butters or oreos or nilla wafers? No saltines or ritz crackers?

You my man are hardcore. I know that there's one kraft product that I just can't avoid... sometimes when maxwell house is all that's available at a bfe truckstop at 4:00 a.m., well, it'll do.

Anonymous said...

You may never have mortgage, but your better half......

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

tricuits - who?

wheat thins - that was my nickname in college.

boca burgers - ew.

nutterbutter - i'm sure that won't be a problem.

oreos - i run with Newman's.

saltines - only when i have montezuma's revenge (likely caused by cheese in a can)

ritz crackers - now you're just being silly.

truckstopJoe - if i'm at a truckstop at 4am ... it's prolly not for coffee.


that's her gig. that's SOOOO her gig. luckily, she's cute.

dblrider said...

Awesome list Olaf. I'm with you on the chocolate...mmm, good stuff. I'm trying to do more of the 70+% cocoa versions. As for the Wheat Thins, Ritz and Triscuits, Trader Joe's has their own brand and they're made with natural ingredients, low fat and no high fructose corn syrup (I can't believe other companies claim HFCS is "Natural" - gimme a break). Better than the Kraft stuff IMHO.

Velo Bella said...

yeah, but, the tv is yours. I don't even know how to work the thing.

Anonymous said...

Is the mort in mortgage from the latin word for death?

Anonymous said...

hmmmm. There are definitely some shades of gray being revealed in this post.

Good post. Thanks for the insight and entertainment. I will find some way to explote this information on the road ;-)

Anonymous said...

Oh, you are bonking?? Sorry all I carry is nutter butters...

Velo Bella said...

cough cough...There are triscuits in our house, and I did not buy them.

I did buy the boca burgers though. All American flavor.

And my mort payments are smaller than rent (fixed 30 year at 5% thank you very much)Thank god I didnt listen to all those wide eyed realtors.

Little_Jewford said...

hmmm....maybe he should have thought of a better excuse in 2002 then this one:

O'Bee, who is the current USPRO criterium champion, declared that his positive drug test "resulted from a special training regimen recommended by his coach, which involved dietary supplements and exercise."

I guess a patch stuck to your balls is a "supplement"

and as far a SU goes...we'll he's sort of entertaining...I mean he's not David Clinger...but funny

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

I guess a patch stuck to your balls is a "supplement"

... you said 'patch stuck'

TreBone said...

is cheese in a can a "supplement"? if so, is it also stuck to the balls? off to the store I go....