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Tuesday, May 08, 2007

We could live offa the fatta the lan'

Steinbeck Criteriums, baby ...

the poor bastards are really gonna let me MC this beeyotch.

~ oh, daddy. circle the wagons.
- - -

It's dia day los mamacitas ... so that's gonna impact attendance all around. AND, it's scheduled the same day as the Sacto bro's Golden State Crit ... which is a huge bummer. We BagBoys are spreading ourselves thin to attend both events, cuz' we want to support it all, yo.

The Steinbeck crits are offering pretty damn big bank for the ladies ... $500 for a straight up 3's event, $250 for a 4's race, and a cool $1000 for the femmes' p1/2/3 race. booyah!

Kind of the hip thing, too, is that the women race earlier in the morning ~ so, if you've got mama day activities planned you still might be able to swing over to the crits, do one, then skiddaddle out for a late brunch with the matron.

Or, if you've got no plans for the day ~ stick around and race in the men's events. I am of the opinion that the men's 45/55 events are some of the best to race for women who want to get in a good speedwork session. just pull out on the last lap and stay away from that field sprint!

And the men's events? I'm thinking these are the days for the upgrade hounds. Fields that are spread out between two good events ... just the right mix to work your way into a top-10.

... and there's cash, yo.
- - -

Yesterday i was in the Bike Trip down in the sCruz, getting Sabine's fork cut and buying a few doodahs needed for her mtb when Mary-Anne the Hunter noticed me drifting around aimless and pulled me aside for some chitty-chat. She was talkin' bike with this friend of hers and so i said my own "hi" and Mary-Anne intro'd me as belonging to Sabine. (oh yeah)

The friend looks me over with a slight recognition, a moment of pause, and then ... "Oh, the guy who announced at Surf City - " and with one of those shakes of the head in almost pity - "yeah, i remember you."

i consider that a good omen.

Bring on the Menace! If you show up to race at Steinbeck ... know that it's very likely i know of you and you will be fair game for commentations galore. I will wax extravagant about your tan lines and fill your suitcases to bulge with hyperbole and descriptions both non-sequitor and giggilicious.

Your name will be screamed to the heavens and your sufferings made our own. I will shout out biased encouragements and wag the occassional finger at any snooties or better-than-thou's who think they deserve more just because they might pedal faster than some.

No, no ... ours is a participants' sport and all who show up and risk will have the wreaths thrown at their feet, they will be heralded as breakers of the norm, rebels against the machine, glorious wearers of the silly spandex.

... and that's all before 8:10am.


Miss Mary said...

we're gonna have so much fun!!!

jAndy donka-donk said...

how would you ride to Salinas from mountain view?

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

in a car

crazy sum' bitch

X Bunny said...

who controls the volume?

that's what we need to know

PAB(a.k.a.CID) said...

I am so glad that you can't announce while you are racing.

which coincidentally, is the same time that I am racing....

dr-nitro said...

Wait, are you gonna race the geezer with some com device? Gonna have to make you breath hard if you do.

bbElf (a.k.a. panda) said...

So bummed I can't go...sigh.

Velo Bella said...

I think he's committed to announcing the whole time.

So, no one is safe.

Brent said...

I think we can mic you up while on the bike next year mike...
I know Jeff has the technology.

PAB(a.k.a.CID) said...

i....i....d-d-d-don't understand....

Anonymous said...

You do not want Mike's mouth mic'd in a race in which he is participating. Breathing heavy would be the least of the worries for the innocent....

Anonymous said...

In this blog it's the other way around.

I know you but you don't know me. And I make the commentary.

L. Christmas said...

sheet...olaf anouncing? sorry Rancho Cordova! Salinas here I come! (like that was hard)

(I'll bring a wireless mic if you're serious about announcing on the bike)

PROMANgirl said...

welllll, twice as much driving for me, waaaaaaaaaay more prize money, probably cooler in salinas right???? or do i go and try to win car speakers in sac and miss The HOOT and Holla, now i'm all messed up

Anonymous said...

What's the rule for chicks racing in men's races? Can I race with the masters even though I'm not one.

I am planning on racing with the men on Sunday, just not sure which race to do. It'd be kind of fun to race for real against Hooptie.

Guess who....

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

you'll whip his ass!

i think it's race 1 cat below your own and 20 year difference?

i'll check w/ casey ... but, i'm pretty sure it's to the officials discretion, as well.

and if this is the pocket rocket, you could race in the men's prosey and whip most they asses.

Anonymous said...

From the rulebook:

1H2. Women may enter any race for which they are eligible by age, category, and any performance requirements and may enter categorized races for men that are up to one category lower than their women's category, or in the case of category 1 women, up to two categories lower. In addition, category 4 and 3 women who are 35 or older may compete in Masters races for all riders up to 20 years greater than their racing age, subject to other eligibility requirements.

PROMANgirl said...

dear pocket rocket, do both races, men and women - i will stay around to see you school Hooptie

Brent said...

that guy (anonymous) hasn't gotten enough out of posting on the NCNCA forum...
I guess he wants to argue the women get better options than men point again or something.

Auffderbach said...

OV...If you haven't been there already, you HAVE to go to Ebay and
insert this item number.
Very, very funny stuff coming out of Verdi these days.

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

bwahahaha ... Basso's slightly used blood bags.


gawdamn, Bulissimo ... i wanted to throw his blog on my side roller, but can't find it now.

gonna have to shoot him an email.
- - -

oh, and Brenty - i think it's ok to give women the option of riding with men. I think it just shouldn't be the only option.

but, i'm a socialist pinko wank who bleeds affirmative action ... so, what do i know.