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Thursday, May 24, 2007


yippy skippy and bring out the dancing ladies, i'm headed for the track this weekend and don't even have to miss a roadie scum event to do it.

Saturday is a "wed night" racing replacement and i get to hook it up with the other kids and spray testosterone in circles all day. Now, it might not be the best of workouts right before Mt. Hamilton ... but, who cares. It's not like i'm gonna be climbing with the freakoids, anyway.

Hellyer is getting it's new groove on, baby ~ and i get to watch the madness.

... to say i'm psyched, might be an understatment.
- - -

it's so bloody painful, though ... attempting to keep the power down at such chamois burning RPMs. like last nite ... after the opening grunts of 8-9% climbing on the SS, when you get all neandertal and gruesome ... it's almost easier to keep banging at it, 'cuz it becomes survival.

But, when it flattens out and you're whispering along on those 1-3% drives ... you're forced into triple-digit horror if you wanna keep the watts firing ~ legs spinning over like a couple of supp'd-up egg beaters - whirring, whirring along, powered by willpower, and spinning droplets of pain alongside the trail.

good for the muscle memory - but tough on the mind. it's just so easy to ... slow down, ease up. stop.

mmm ...

i loves me some trite metaphors.


diskzero said...

I was starting to stress about racing against you and Hooch until I saw the mail from NCVA. It looks like you guys will get a magic carpet ride up to track Cat. 2 where you belong.

Flandria said...

oh cool, hopefully i've got some time to drop by and watch...neat!

Anonymous said...

belong? hmm.... The track is not the road and certain skills should be obtained to keep it safe. They are not as obvious as one would think.

The strength and speed is there for sure though... At least for sucking wheel! :-)

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

yeah baby ~ bring it!

PAB(a.k.a.CID) said...

i turn right much better than i turn left.

think they'll run some of the races clockwise for me?

Jr. Curmudgeon said...

Oh great, first singlespeeds and now track bikes. What’s next, riding around town on your fixie with your 12” wide handlebars, pant legs neatly rolled up and your cap perfectly a skewed?

diskzero said...


I honestly doubt either of the aforementioned riders are going to have trouble picking up the skills much quicker that running through three Saturdays of ribbon drills and five Wednesday nights of Cat. 5 sandbagging. There are no skills to be learned riding off the front of a bunch of C riders. This is what I did every race and it wasn't until the B races that I started to learn something.

meh-wee-uhn said...

From what the cool kids have told me, Ben Davis pants are cooler than Cahartts.

Also, no one believes me when I tell them, but fanny packs are cooler than camelbacks. No, really. Get yourself a fanny made by Eric Zo and all the cool bike kids will be clockin' ya.

Zo bags are like Louis Vuitton bags to those kids.

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

i haven't ever been on the cool side of life.

don't plan on it now.

... oh, reminds me of my American Idol rant i wanted to scribble about.

74 million votes during their night's show ...

oh christ on a stick.

74 fucking million ... people (or a significant portion there of) ... all with the same cultural yardstick.

kill me

Anonymous said...

I honestly doubt ...blah, blah, blah,blah......, blah, blah.......B races ...blah.

OK, cause you said so. Sorry to question your authority.

Rock on

Shit, just throw them boys in the madison or kerin. Who needs time to learn. Just give'm knee and elbow pads and keep them away from all of the sweet carbon wheels.

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

summbuddys scayy-rt.

don't worry, i'll try not to be too dang'rous.

gee, i hope all those NRC crits haven't made me sketchy.

besides, it's not like i'm gonna be in the pack for long in any track races, anyway.

otf or otb ... my only two options.

CyclistRick said...

re: American Idol - 74M votes = 2M teenage freakazoids with autodialers. It's like a few districts in some unnamed states - 1 person, 20 votes. Pure DEMONcracy.

Anonymous said...

"summbuddys scayy-rt."

I don't race track (anymore) so not worried..

"gee, i hope all those NRC crits haven't made me sketchy."

This overconfidence is why the upgrade process should be in place - at least in part. All I am saying is that riding a fixy with no gears yakes more than a session or three to get used to before people start hooking you and driving you up the track at 30-35mph, etc. If you are going slower (i.e. c or b cat.) it is easier to learn.

But what do I know, I am a mere mortal. Not an NRC crushing big hunka manmeat.

otf or otb - doubt it, you'll see.

Velo Bella said...

Okay, here's the process:

"Streamlined Track Upgrade Process for Road Categories Pro/1/2 Riders who are Pro or category 1 on the road may be upgraded to category 2 on the track and riders who are category 2 on the road may be upgraded to category 3 on the track without first having to begin at category 5 if they pass a written test before participating in a race at Hellyer and have the approval of a NCVA Board approved coach. Board approved coaches, Rick Adams and Larry Nolan, must observe the rider on Wednesday Night or Thursday Night races with Road Cat 1’s or Pro's race with the A's, and the Cat 2’s race with the B's on Wednesday and /or Thursday night. After they race, Larry and Rick can either approve their upgrade or ask them to come back and race again before they're allowed to race in a USAC categoried race. Wednesday Night Racing begins this Saturday at 12 noon. For more information see"

Just so people know what they are tooting about.

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

"yakes" ... is that a trackie term?

lissen, i hear what you're saying ... and it's all just shittalk. come'on ... we've all been doing this long enough to know that learning curves are there for a reason.

the upgrade process is, as per trackie Board, cat 1's show must show themselves safe and sound in an "A" training race. Cat 2's must do the same in "B"s.

I didn't mind starting as a 5 on the track, i've done my sessions, etc ... but, i defer to the Board in this instance and am thankful for it. trust me, i'd much rather be out there riding safe with experienced riders than waiting for lap 2 to ditch the newbies in a C ... or even B field.

that track riding is an art?

given, honored, desired to play with.

that there is a learning curve and the best will always be the best who can think and be wickedly graceful on the lines?

come'on man, ain't you been reading my blog enough to know that I know that.

regardless, i hear what you're saying.
- - -

as for AmerIdol ... what, an estimated 34mill viewers, in this country alone?

i'm still scared, rick. it's not just sugared up telatubbos.

ah well.

Anonymous said...

"if they pass a written test before participating in a race at Hellyer"

Well fuck. I stand corrected.

LN: "I like how he holds a pencil and he is Vanderhoot afterall, pass."

RA: "pass"

AW: "I know he is dominating the b's, but he needs 10 more races for an upgrade and that is final."

Anonymous said...

"that there is a learning curve and the best will always be the best who can think and be wickedly graceful on the lines?

come'on man, ain't you been reading my blog enough to know that I know that.

regardless, i hear what you're saying."

I hear ya. I just like starting a debate(fucking with you) once in a while . You and the aforementioned will be fine. Just remember you will be cross-eyed at first more than you are used to or expect.

Have a good evening.

Olaf Vanderhoot said...


certainly hope so.
right on.

- - -

and that's not a pencil i was holding.

T. Marie said...

um... so correct me if I'm wrong, but...

you're planning to race the track saturday, race Hammy on sunday, and then hop in a car for 11 hours and race 6 stages of Hood?

Are you fucking on CRACK???

T. Marie said...

and anonymous, it would go something more like this:

LN: "aw, man, listen man, I liked it, dude, you've got real skillz with the bike man, but... I don't know man, for me it was a pit pitchy at times, but that's just me man..."

RA: "{sniff sniff} LOOK AT YOU! Such talent! I'm just so happyy for you {sniff sniff} This is IT for yoU!"

AW: "Vanderhoot, Vanderhoot. {Shakes head}. I don't know what PLANET my colleagues are coming from, but that was abominable. Just terrible. I've never seen anything so terrible in my life. {audience boos}."

Then Ryan Seacrest would come out at console you.

Velo Bella said...

Tina Marie - You forgot race two crits on Monday, then hop in car

Steven Woo said...

I remember when I suggested we use this upgrade rule when it was announced at the start of 2006 and was told we would never use it...thank goodness a little common sense prevails.

The written test is common sense for safe riding on the track plus track racing rules from what I have seen so far, pretty much what one would expect. All of our juniors would ace it. :)

Anonymous said...

The upgrde process is flawed not common sense. Ive see many pros come out and cause crashes because they think they can do it all. But thats ok because all the heavies have banded together and will eliminate any sketchy behaviour.

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

sketchy is as sketchy does

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

i do loves me some myopia.

is it cross season yet?

Anonymous said...

they does sketchy on purpose

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

so sweet!

DHOLLA said...


your coming to my turf.

hope you dont mind elbows, knees, and a headbutt everyonce and a while.

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

hell yayah, Holla. i expect you to pay me back for all those times i've snapped you on the hills and in the crits.

but, you gotta do the pursuit with me if i'm gonna be scratchin' balls with you in them mass starts.

good gawd, i been waiting a long time to be close enough to the track. long time, man.

daddy, mikey wants a sprint for christmas!

everytime i've touched it in the past, i've felt the potential benefits of it to the training. can't wait to experiment.

good times on the horizon, yo.

and ... i gots the camera, Holla ... so wear somethin' nice.

meh-wee-uhn said...

Blah, blah, blah. Upgrade, written test, question authority, ride fast, turn left, whatevs.

I'm sure that no matter what goes down re: Vanderhoot vs. Hellyah, it will sort itself out quickly enough.

Not like I know what I'm talking about or nothing, but sheesh, can't we all just get along?

PAB(a.k.a.CID) said...

meh-wee-uhn for mayor!


aw fuck, president!


now, on to a more important subject...

ya'll see, Olaf is a cat 5 on the track as per his liscence. I am a cat 4 as per my liscence. So how come he gets to be a cat 2 and i only get to be a cat 3?

i demand justice!!

Velo Bella said...

I like the welcome
I know what it does

Hooptie said...

Here is all you need to know about racing on the track...don’t stop pedaling! J/Andy and I will ensure Hernando has no reason to stop pedaling. You best start recruiting some fixie bag boys!

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

does riding the track mean my calves are gonna get Hoopti-fied?

i still wanna be light for the climbs ...

Hooptie said...

Calves are clearly useless for climbs. I am still trying to find a use for them.

Anonymous said...

dholla is an ex pursuit nat champ i think

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

team pursuit

Anonymous said...

indy pursuit

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

no silly,
i wanna do team pursuit, hopefully with dHolla.

it's the #2 reason i'm going to the track.

#1 is training to win more crits, of course.

Anonymous said...

"does riding the track mean my calves are gonna get Hoopti-fied?

i still wanna be light for the climbs ..."

No, but it will make your penis bigger. That is what has slowed me down on the climbs...

t. boneron

Robin Horwitz said...

We've got you and Joel Robertson in the B/C's.

It's going to be one of the fastest B/C field in the history of Hellyer.....

Anonymous said...

robin has been at hellyer so long, he knows. ha!

Olaf Vanderhoot said...


oh, hell yeah.

i guess he took that smoothing of the pedalstroke to heart.

too cool.

see you there, Robin. And, plan on me being your media gadfly.

so many new heroes to paint...

Robin Horwitz said...

Be our announcer for the American Velodrome Challenge and maybe you'll win some good $$ while you're at it. :)

Olaf Vanderhoot said...


but we only accept wine & belgian brews at the Dukes/Hernando Hotet of Debauchery.

Robin Horwitz said...

You do know we usually bring beer at the track?

At least at the AVC, we're going to have coolers of beer.

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

you had me with "coolers" ...

Anonymous said...

Shit. Hernando, mic, beer. We are in trouble.

They thought Riis was a big deal, wait til you see the performance enhancement mike's mouth gets with beer and a mic in his hand (at least it will sound good in HIS head).

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

so true, so true.

they call me Mr. 9% by volume

Robin Horwitz said...

Hernando, mic, beer.

Fans in the stands with beer and wine (I've seen them do that before).

Josiah Ng doing a sub 11.0 200m, setting a new Hellyer record.

Jesse and Rob winning the Madison.

What could be better than that?

Anonymous said...

solt has already gone sub 11 and there are probably 4 local teams faster in the madison

get your facts straight kook

Anonymous said...

what locals are you gonna promote?

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

what locals?

all locals that ride with class and grit.

i wish my lil' camera had a dynamic zoom with the vid maker. ah well, i still think there's gonna be some fun had with the

Robin Horwitz said...


Sounds like you know your history at Hellyer which is great. Want to help out? Email me.

We could always use people like you who are overly enthuastic about the Hellyer scene.

Anonymous said...

do we have any current elite national champions from our track? previous avc winners?