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Thursday, December 28, 2006

talkin' shit

Saw the AJM this morning, pounding up Freedom ... maybe on his way to work? or maybe finishing up an earlier n' early dawn workout?

oy.

it's gonna be a long year.

- - -

well, that's as good as any an inspiration to talk about the upcoming NorCal roadie-scum season (boy side). Undoubtedly, the Big Berries will be the juiciest in the fields of prosey this year ... again. But, we'll do our best to not allow them to sweep any more podiums. ... fukkers.

I'm also interested to see how this revamped RHVillan team will shake out. They look to have some boys who can ride breaks now ... as opposed to just busting balls to keep things together for a sprinter that would get 4th (yeah, yeah, yeah ... he's swingin' a pro contract this year). I'd like to see junkadonk do some damage out there - but, that team is probably too pretty ... they'll just soak up all the hair styling gel in the greater-bay area and not have the money to race much.

There's also the new BMC euro-injected poofter boys to watch. They picked up a truckload of older talent and will be able to crush anything they want ... but, thankfully, they prolly won't do much local racing.

who else? ... oh, there's the ever-neandertal Lombardi boys. The team that can show up with 23 riders and still not get on the podium. And this year it looks like they lost their two guys who could actually win a race to the AMD/Discoballs uber-geezer train of pain. Without LaBerge and Innes, that Lombardi squad will need to step up and ride with more forehead and far less balls.

Looks like they also might have lost their all-world espoirs ... no Hallowhead, Riggers, or Swatters for them. Hmm...wonder where those boys have all jumped to?

And then there's always squads like AltoVelo, Spine, CVC and others that have smaller numbers but stong, talented riders that work in and out of the top-10.

Should be a good year. Lookin' forward to it.

- - -

In the geriatrics division - undoubtedly CVC will be huge in the spring. These central valley hooligans will have legs of fire until May ... when it gets 140 degrees down there in the pit of despair (yes, that's you Fresno) and they won't be able to go outside without overnighting their chamois in the freezer to keep cool. We'll all just have to do our best to survive those first few months of blue-steel until they peeter out.

And, as we know, the real powerbroker in the NorCal "oldies but goodies" category this year will be the DiscoBalls. Last year Nolan broke his kneecap while high-stepping over a shrub (or something gay like that). He was out for a few weeks and we thought that'd be the last we'd see of king-musclebutt. Of course ~ he came back stronger than ever and crushed our windpipes the rest of the year. doublefukker.

Now they've added all-attack and no sprint Metcalfe to the mix. Join in a cupful of sir Wine-aLot Roemer, Doc Angrymann, Ice-LaBerge, and badboy-Innes ... you've got a squad that will embarass the crap out of most the prosey squads listed above.

Ah well ~ good thing we stockpiled our slings n' stones for the year.

Let's see ... there's also the spyderMen of EMC. Always active and love to mix it up ... but had a hard time finding the top of the podium last year in our region. I think they had to go midwest and beat up on the yokels to get most their victories.

Not sure if Hutcheeson and the Spineyards will be fielding a team this year. I have a soft spot for those boys. And then there's always the Morgan Stanley muscleheads. They'll be riding their nutsacks bloody trying to set up field sprints for their twin towers.


and so ~ i reckon that's enough smacktalk to get the boy-juice squirtin' outta the internet pipes for awhile.

ah ... bike racing.

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

What..no love for that cat 4/5 uber sensation Johnny GoFast? Hear he's got himself a Pegasaurus lead out train this year that is going to make Gianni at EMC whimper like a cat 4 cookie eater. How's that for some cat 4 whelpin' manjuice?

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

yeah, baby.

that's what i'm talkin' about.


just don't let gianni hear that action.

Anonymous said...

So what I get left out of the smooching fest?! Or is the breeding substitute for that? BTW both Amy and Dave laughed when I relayed your plans to them! Can't wait!

Anonymous said...

you guys make any personnel changes this year?

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

added the Wire and trackAndrew.


good fellas. though, they don't party as much as the rest of us blackards.

Anonymous said...

Good stuff - Dropped one crotchety geezer and added a couple cool guys.
We should be stronger this year if our guys can stay healthy/injury free. We had some bad luck with that last year.

For Johnny - our 4/5 geezers are riding strong right now so look out!

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

you did, eh?

dag ... no disrespect intended to the SNsuperboys. just ran out of time at work.

quality ... just got to get more than 2 of you out at a time in races.

still ... one of favorites last year was that Boriani RR where Fairbanks whooped me n' Kevin in the sprint.

what a sufferfest. i remember our break plowing through every field. damn we rode that thing into the ground.

Anonymous said...

Two would be better than one - I raced at least 4 or 5 crits by myself last year. I think we'll see better numbers this year with a guy Brian we picked up from Chicago and Jason B from EMC.

Mr. Fairbanks had knee trouble in the spring and Dan B broke his clavicle in July and had some nasty surgery (he'll be back and ready to give Taz some competition though). Rozek was sick in April and never quite recovered and KirkPatty was out from June on.

Anonymous said...

I broke my femur and was dumb enough to ride on it anyway.

me=fuktard

funkdaddy said...

you're speaking in tongues - i don't understand all this gibberish. what language is this, anyhow?

think i'll have to check out of the vanderblog until August or so - you know, when you revive your perennial delusion of cx grandeur.

or should i say "we revive"...

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

don't go hibernatin' just yet, you funky beeyotch.

there's still another CCCX race to talk smack about. gotta put a foot up Cam's booty at least once this year.

and delusions of cx grandeur are almost as bitchin' as getting delusional about the road.

come to the dark side you crotchety old buggar.

Anonymous said...

I'm still waiting for Junkadonk to get some balls and post his pics up on the villa website. Gotta be a team player Junkadonk!

I think there may be some problems with some of these teams that are plump full of go-fast riders. This was apparent with Spine 3-4 years ago where many within the team wanted to win but didn't want to take turns. We will see the outcome in 2007

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, I was out RIDING. What was that?
I'm gonna lead the JS out a few times this year and get him the upgrade out of my hair. Then I can go back to cookie eating and all downhill, all the time races.
CVC owns that valley early, 40 degree rain and the cowshit and mud creeping onto the road and they'll be attacking in a freaking hailstorm. Full on toughmen.
The uber-geezers= I'm staying around just to watch some of those battles.

Dr. X said...

Luv the 07 preview 'hootie, nice smak talkin' - where was mOrgan stalees?

Anonymous said...

See you at the start line.

funkdaddy said...

i've already been hibernating since dec. 15th. oh and i used to live on the dark side...

have fun at cccx!

jAndy donka-donk said...

Maaaan

I missed the photoshoots.......

I always hated picture day at school........

Anonymous said...

We are having a little training camp in a few weeks, email me for the info if you want to join the fun.

Anonymous said...

Can't wait to draft on all of those 35+ super geezer power squads. Imagine if all the AMD Masters showed up at a single race? They would be more than half of the field.

Anonymous said...

Wine-alot Roemer. that's funny. i love that guy.

FstrBlly said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Nuke boy says the top step was just on loan, thanks for keeping it warm for him.