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Wednesday, December 27, 2006

nerdly in the a.m.

the wind, she is throwing her weight around this morning.

I love riding in the winds. Love it ... hunched over bars, shouldering down against smashing waves of invisible ferocity. Raging gusts that whip out of nowhere, surprising, catching off guard ... forcing you to adapt and bend in microseconds, reed-like.

oh, how i love it.

- - -

A cup full of cruelty.

Racing in the gutter is such a slaughterfest. For those at the front, wielding the axes ... it's blood-rage barbarism. Reveling in the sadistic pleasures of cracking your fellow being - stretching them over the wrack as they writhe in shudder after shudder of pain, until finally succumbing to drop off into that painless, defeated sleep.

I've never truly enjoyed wielding the axe. I don't go vampiric on slamming riders into the gutter. I find it ... uncivilized. But, i suppose ... sometimes you just have to do it.

More of what i enjoy is being the Van Helsing of the peloton ... the battered, bitten resolute - swatting away and staking the heart of those fanged killers in the front as they do their worst to drive the peloton into chaos.

I drink up the challenge of overcoming their dark gutterfest rituals - pushing past them, dismissing them, beginning the real battle of racing to the line.

well ...

maybe i enjoy guttering some people

... a little.


Olaf Vanderhoot said...

couldn't help myself but share ~ a note from the ddt:

Saw your post about riding in the wind. It can be fun, but I've had cautionary experiences. You weigh less than I do, I'm sure, but it may be that my lumpenproletariat physique presents more of a catch to the wind... .

Was riding out along the Front Range outside of Boulder, on a warm day that later, I heard on the radio, had seen 80+mph gusts. For some reason, former Brit nat'l champ Dave Mann (and he was man-and-a-half large) went out with us, immediately taking a 50kph pull. I saw a chance to take my turn, came around that mountain of a cyclist -- and immediately was hit by one of the aforementioned gusts.

What I remember was a sudden feeling of weightlessness, a tumble of sky images, then a bounce. That was me hitting a grassy ditch off the side of the road. I was on my back, looking up, as a handful of heads -- the guys who had been on the ride -- poked over to look and ask if I was all right.

"Dude, you did a perfect tabletop!" said one of them. Apparently the gust had hit me full side, picking me straight up off the ground, tossing me more than a dozen meters. When one talks about "flying" on the bike...well, I'd rather just find some way to get myself in shape so the conventional metaphor applies.

Anonymous said...

i have a reacurring dream of swimming in the wind. it feels fun there, only because each time i know it's lucid and i make the most of it.

but yeah, on the bike, she scares me too. she's pushy and mean and seems so cranky. putting her finger on me and flicking me off the bike...

nosajpalnud said...

you might actually like the river ride

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

done the river ride a few times.

me n' dan plummer went out there with the tandem when we were training for nationals 2 years ago.

horner was getting ready to head over to europe (where he won his stage at the tour of suisse) and we traded punches with him all day long.

i remember johnny elgart was the only one able to stick on the wheels.

fukkin' elgart. what a mutant.

Anonymous said...

I like to get blown.

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

damn you ... the perfect title.

nosajpalnud said...

tandem...that'd be puttin the hurt down

should be fun (err - painful) when the pros show up for TOC this year

Anonymous said...

OK, well I'm breaking all of the "reply-longer-than-post" rules here, but this was in our morning paper. Read all the way to the bottom.

Wind wreaks havoc on Northern Nevada
December 27, 2006

Severe winds in advance of the latest Sierra snowstorm buffeted the region Tuesday, scattering Christmas decorations, knocking over trucks south of Reno, ripping through billboards and causing scattered power outages that sparked a large brush fire in the hills between Pyramid Highway and Disc Drive and small ones.

"We've had reports of trees down, power lines down, fences down, shingles gone," said meteorologist Scott McGuire of the National Weather Service in Reno.

Wind that had been in the 50 mph range from 4 to 5 p.m. surged just as the first reports were received about the big fire. While the blaze roared north across 200 to 300 acres from Kohl's and Wal-Mart stores on Pyramid Highway, wind was measured at 66 mph at 5:45 p.m. at Interstate 80 and Sparks Boulevard, the National Weather Service said.

A gust of 135 mph was recorded Tuesday afternoon atop Slide Mountain on Tuesday afternoon, while the valleys of Western Nevada were blasted with winds gusting above 90 mph. The Galena foothills had a 112 mph gust at 5:45 p.m.

A rain shower after 6 p.m. helped firefighters control the blaze.

"Rain acts as a buffer and slows wind," meteorologist Alex Hoon said Tuesday night.

Forecasters were watching for the possible development of a secondary cold front late this afternoon that could drop a couple of inches of snow in time for the evening commute. Snow accumulations of at least a foot were possible in the mountains above 7,000 feet, according to the weather service.

"This could be the strongest storm we've had so far this season, especially with the high winds and snowfall," said Gina Beninato, also a meteorologist.

But on Tuesday, the story was the wind.

Gusts in the foothills of the Reno area commonly exceeded 70 and 80 mph, with one gust in the Mogul area reported at 92 mph.

In Washoe Valley, four semitrailer trucks were overturned by high winds, according to the Nevada Highway Patrol. Three trucks -- two of them about 50 yards apart -- turned over on old Highway 395 west of Washoe Lake while a fourth flipped over on Eastlake Boulevard east of the lake, the NHP said. The trucks had been diverted off U.S. 395 due to strong winds. No major injuries were reported.

"Washoe Valley is a mess," NHP Sgt. John Schilling said.

Wind interfered with holiday travel at Reno-Tahoe International Airport, delaying by hours or canceling flights for 1,500 to 2,000 passengers. U.S. Airways canceled a flight to Las Vegas. Southwest Airlines had planes at San Jose, Sacramento and Oakland waiting for better Reno weather, airport spokesman Brian Kulpin said.

"We expected the winds to die down much earlier in the day than they did," said airport spokesman Brian Kulpin, adding normal schedules resumed at 9 p.m.

"There will be a lot of people who will be looking to get on flights tomorrow and won't be able to because the flights are booked," he said of stranded passengers.

Wind caused power failure for 5,000 to 7,000 customers throughout the area starting at noon in Washoe Valley, said Karl Walquist of Sierra Pacific Power Co. By 9 p.m. Tuesday, about 1,500 customers were without power in the Reno-Sparks area. About 200 customers remained without power in the Caughlin Creek and Mayberry Drive areas. Three power lines were down at Squaw Valley in Lake Tahoe. He said some outages could remain this morning.

The storm was expected to cause traveling conditions over the Sierra to "deteriorate rapidly" Tuesday evening, according to a weather service statement.

Periods of moderate to heavy snowfall were expected in the mountains into today.

No other significant storms were expected through the week once the weather clears late today.

Galena resident Bobby Julich bicycled along Callahan Ranch road Tuesday.

"I was having to ride at a 45-degree angle to keep it on the road," Julich said. "You just have to keep smiling and keep at it.

"It's pretty amazing how strong this wind can blow."

RGJ sports reporter Dan Hinxman contributed to this story.

Jr. Curmudgeon said...

Ticket puncher!

Anonymous said...

Hernando is a legend in his own mind. He is a tour rider on his own tour, he is someone who loves to brag about all the things and all the rides he has done, and all the women he has done too!

If you just read the stuff he writes you would think he was the greatest rider in europe who takes long warm pee sessions while he rides. Then wiping the urine off his leg as the heavy wind he owns blew the yellow shower into his path.

Only Hernando rules everything and only Hernando has thoughts that are shaped by the whipped interior of his wanna be way.

The ryhme, the reason, the season, the time, all flow from his words in utmost self glorified hyme.

It is not super man, it is super Hernando who is the most super one of them all!

Olaf Vanderhoot said...


it's like Woody Allen said, 'i was the best i ever had.'

Anonymous said...

i like a head wind so strong you have to fight to pedal downhill and i also like a tail wind so strong you feel like floyd landis on some synthetic shit.

the wind is my friend and let him blow me with all the power it has.

blow me up, blow me down, blow me round and round.

just blow me wind, just blow me.

Anonymous said...

Drove the ToC route out of Stockton today trying to miss the traffic.
Some sections out by Tracy will have the visigoths drooling if it blows that day.

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