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Thursday, July 06, 2006

men and their fabulous stretchy-pants

Random geekins:

  1. Da' Booner is NOT sprinting efficiently. I suppose it's because he's not a pure sprinter like AleJet or Cipo or even weeMcEwen. Boonen in this Tour's sprints has been all over his bike, fighting it, trying to snap it in two with his pure strength.

    When we think back on how Cipo used to be rock steady and smooth as Italian silk in his accelerations to the line ... it's a stark contrast to Boonen's horsemeat yankings on the reins.

    He's forcing it. Relax Tommy ... it's not attractive to allow the pressure to get to you.

  2. A different pressure release ~

    Tour of Austria - now, you say ... this is a race going on when? Well, it's a story worth knowing. On yesterday's mountain top finish, Disco-Danielson looked to have the stage won with a vicious pace up the climb, shattering all-comers. But, 3km from the top ~ he says he had a cramp and it all started going sidways.

    Even with Tommy's muscle spasmage, only 1 rider was able to pass him for the win ... it was some guy named Pfannberger.


    Yeah, and it gets better. At the bottom of the mountain ... this Pfanni had to drop his fanny with a case of extreme intestinal distress. That's right folks, in front of god and Eurosport, this boy did the squat and squirt on the side of the road ... freeing himself up to win the stage.

    Hell, we all know the happy dance that comes after a nice evacuation. Well, he just did his happy dancing on the pedals.

    Good on him. You love to hear about shit like that.

  3. Why is it that nobody believes Hincapie can climb? The dude weighs less then Pfanni's droppings, ferchrissake. And please, somebody remember how he was ripping climber twigs off last year in the service of SirLanceAlot. Who amongst the GC contenders is a pure climber that could hope to snap Hincapie's engine up the mountains?

    The explosive climbers are going to lose minutes, MINUTES in that first time trial. The only fellas still in contention will be the diesel climbers of Hincapie caliber. With the exception of ... FLandis.

    With all this talk of The Floyd working on his high-end climbing ... he could be the guy to shatter wills and engrave tombstones. Or will we all be surprised?

  4. The 3rd week of this Tour will be nuclear. So many of them boys will be cryin. Fatigue, stress, pressure ... lacking dope ~

    Cycling is haaaaarrrrd.

  5. Intervals on the dirt with my woman last night. Fantastico.

jaysus, i'm ready to race.

- - -

End Note ~ talk about covering your ass:

I'm don't feel like a criminal; I haven't killed anyone and I haven't destroyed anyone's health," he said. "I'm a health professional; my priority is to cure my patients because I think that the sport at high level is not healthy. I'm accused of crime against public health, but they should sanction those who play at being doctors." So instead of boosting the rider's performances, Fuentes considered that he only "supplemented and adjusted" those bodily functions of the riders which showed a deficit. CN

Them bikers better beware ... this guy is charged with crimes against public health. And, if his defense is going to be that, 'yes, i doped them, but it was for their health' ... then they are in a boatload of manure, stinking fast.

'Cuz that defense will cover his own ass, and string up every biker he treated.


btw ... he's a gyno.



Velo Bella said...

"Pfanni dropped his fanny" - you're funny.

and then squat and squirt. Between this and the cuba story, I think you have a knack for describing the undescribable.

oh, and remind me to ask Soni about the heart comment the good doc made. Something like, their hearts get so big, that when they stop riding it shrinks back and they die? uuuhhh...Huh?

Little_Jewford said...

maybe Pfanni was trying to increase is power to weight ratio .... seemed to work

cycling is a waky sport ... public pre-win dumps, spectators slicing sprinters with oversized hands, gyno's packing blood and shooting up riders and claiming its "healthy" .... and this:

"Sandy Casar (Française des Jeux) finished 137th in yesterday's third stage after being taken out by a drunken spectator at the foot of the Cauberg. The spectator then got into an argument with Casar's DS Marc Madiot, while others tried to steal the Frenchman's wheels."

wtf? How drunk were these guys? trying to steal wheels off Casars bike in front of the team car, the D.S. and (not to mention) the tv cameras.....must of had one too many Dupont Cidre Bouché Brut de Normandie.

cant wait to see what happens when they start climbing...

ginmtb said...

Hate to be the guy who washes the unis... "umm, I think these shorts will go straight into the biohazard bag." (they don't have use for these bags now that they don't have empty needles to deposit into them).

In the infamous words of Johnny Cochrane, "If the chamois is covered with $hit, you must acquit."

Nome Agusta said...

I think that is spelled "nukular".

PAB said...

this is my favorite post in many a moon.

is he really a gynecologist?

X Bunny said...

my thoughts:

i think i miss having a tv this month

yes, oV has both a fascination with and a knack for describing squatting and squirting

i didn't read the heart comments but that doesn't make any sense to me

but what does he know about hearts--he's a gynecologist

and i have always thought there was something wrong with men who go into gynecology

Dr. X said...

hey, we all die, so he's correct in that regard, but the immediately shrinkage, c'mon!

Gyno's get some of the best knowledge on steroidal hormones so his doping crossover seems pretty natural. But if he's just lookin' out for their health, why are them cyclistas mum on their connection to him, eh?

'poop', Ze Frank

Velo Bella said...

your pants
they look expensive

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

thank you

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