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Friday, June 30, 2006

daddy like ...

So yeah, ya'll have read the news that everyone but Ronald McDonald got busted before this year's TourDayFrance (and you know it's only a matter of time before that red-bastard gets nailed for 'ludes).

No Basso, No Ulli, No Mancebo, No Vino (or any of his team) ...

- - -

Are all these cyclists getting caught for doping good for the sport?

Hell yes, I says.

Am I deeply saddened for poor Janipoo? Yeah, I am. This is a boy from the old-school east-German machinations ... you had to have always known he was on the medical programme ~ so, it's no surprise. But, what endeared Ullrich to us was his consumate human-ness. He got fat, he partied, he turned himself inside-out at races ... he cracked, he triumphed, he won and he lost.

He was delicious to watch. He was as swashbuckling as a former soviet bloc boy could get. I liked his vibe, you dig.

. . . and yes, it's past tense for poor Jan-ee. Cuz it's curtains for der Kaiser. After working so hard (and let's not mince words folks, Ullrich was the fittest ever for this race), he won't be able to recover from this blow. He may be banned from the sport, he may not ... but, this will break his will to return. Expect a word of retirement from our beautiful black sheep.

You will be remembered, Jan.

- - -

Am I happy there are boys getting nailed for the needles? Yup. I hope them Spanish Po-Pos keep diggin' and diggin'. I'd love to see more of an emphasis on how cool it is to race clean.

Speakin' of cool racers who ride clean ~ there's Benny J staying home this week to contest our region's Elite Criterium championships.

Can I get an AMEN, brother!

I am a firm believer in taking pride in your own region's racing and championship events. Anybody who ventures to these parts knows we can throw out some of the best racing around. And, in this weekend's crit championship, it will be a showcase of all the top local talent. Now, last year I lost this race to a certain Healthnet rider who lives in Excramento and races maybe 2 or 3 of our local events during the year. I can't knock him for that. But it was a bitter pill, baby. A bitter pill.

But, this year ~ if I don't win it, I want a REAL local winning it. Benny J is the man and grew up strong and dominant by cutting his teeth on our local circuit. His evil twin Andy JackMaynard has won the last couple of local crits in fair-sized manly efforts and I wouldn't be surprised to see some serious showdown blows between them two.

But first, they gotta get through me ... cuz this geezer is comin' to play, baby.

22 comments:

X Bunny said...

i keep trying to leave a comment but pab keeps telling me that they are all so incredibly geeky that i erase them

so here's me waving my geek-flag

but he's a geek's husband, so there

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

we're geezer-geeks

Jed said: said...

Go get em hernando!

diskzero said...

My top three TDF picks all booted due to doping allegations.  Grimness.

Best of luck in cow town this weekend!

Anonymous said...

I'll bet the big Yerman is knocking off his third pitcher in the bier-garten by now....

Benjaminiac said...

come get some OV. we'll see if you can stack up to my entire lack of form and three weeks off. my bet's on Andy, who's just flying right now.

but all your attention may just make me marked rider #1 i hate it when that happens everyone races against me not everyone else. like i'm gonna singlehandedly kick 195 asses all at once. yeah right.

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

new podium picks?

(gasp)

1. his Flandis
2. LippyHeimer
3. Hincantbe

the french will burn the US embassy ...


and, thanks 'all-access'

and, you know it anony. by now, he's already on his 3rd e-hit.

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

i know, your bro is flyin' right now.

but, you know what? on this hardman's course?

you can whip 195 asses all at once.

well, 194.

cuz it's on, baby.

-

can't wait to race up with you again, been too long. and yeah, you'll have a friendly wheel ... just cuz your damn kid's so cute.

Eclectchick said...

I think I'm gonna wear black for the entire three weeks.

(sniffle)

X Bunny said...

i think i was being psychic when i couldn't bring myself to make picks....

ginmtb said...

TWW Tour Prediction:

All American Podium Sweep

shawndoggy said...

I always thought RM was more of an LSD type dude, with his hamburglers and Mayor McCheese and all...

This all makes me wonder WHO IS NOT DOPING? Where's the outrage from the other ProTour riders who have to race against the cheats? Or is "not getting caught doping" part of the luck involved in having a good tour, just like not getting crashed out on a flat stage and not cracking in the mountains?

And who is CSC riding for now that Ivan's gone?

Flandria said...

Julich I would say...Julich got third in the 98 tour along with the Festina scandal so this may be his last chance to win with this scandal - the doors are open now! Sastra will be his lead out guy in the mountains...

98 Winners:(Festina Affair)
Pantani
Ullrich
Julich

who's left to win in the same scenario...I could be dreaming but anything happens or could happen...

Flandria said...

as Julich said in the Solvang press conference interview...if anything happens to Basso he is going to be the man - I like Bobby and I also hope he wins.

Kevin said...

Don't be dissin' my homeboy Sayers. (All us ex-Sacto boy's gotta stick together.)

http://www.ncnca.org/road/1995/GiroDiSF.html

Were you even racing back then??? :-)

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

shit Kev, i didn't even know there WAS bike racing back then.

... damn bro, you're old ;)


Sayers is all right ... for a loud mouthed baldy.

wish he wasn't so fast.

bbElf (a.k.a. panda) said...

Perhaps it's time for a pre-Leesville strudel in honor of the Jan's humanity. And a tub of ice cream and an imperial of red afterward...

Kevin said...

Way old... :-)

Yeah, he is kind of loud...

schlaca laca laca laca said...

Reading your blog for first time - you're fn funny! I'll take an XL of one those black dope T's please. My vote is for His Flandis. His dirt experience will allow him to kickass in this dirty environment.

Johnny Sprocket said...

Black Friday as these riders get taken out. Makes you wonder how many other doctors there are that are "treating" other racers. Too bad for these 58 unlucky ones that happened to have a Doc with such good records. What's weird, and maybe just because I'm from the US, but none of these guys have tested positive (recently) and none have actually been convicted. I'm not saying they should race because the evidence is overwhelming, but aren't they innocent until proven guilty? In any event, how come nobody is talking about the Thunder From Down Under (Cadel Evans)? He's my guy as I remember when he was rollin' crazy on the Mtb circuit.

Cadel
Landis
Vladi Karpets (I like the name and he's young and fast)

Nancy Farzan said...

Where can I get one of those T-shirts??

vanilla ice said...

how about black sunday?

"race clean crit" in vacaville...JCash style.