VelOnion II

Swobo Poster Child Finds Jesus

For many years, Swobo front man "Stevil" has led a wild life filled with cycling antics, tatoos and heavy metal debauchery. Those days have apparently come to end as the result of a seemingly innocent bike crash this past weekend.


Stevil was out riding with friends when he apparently crashed over a small log on a trail near Scotts Valley, California. Per Stevil, "I was just laying there in some poison oak when my good friend Fat Ass crashed over the same log and landed on top of me." Due to the shear mass involved in the impact, Stevil was briefly knocked unconscious.


Stevil continued, "When I awoke the first thing I felt, other than Fat Ass laying on me, was an overwhelming sense of calm and peace. At that exact moment I saw The Face of Jesus on the poison oak leaf directly in front of my face. Maybe it was the oxygen deprivation, but the Good Lord chose that moment to make an appearance."

Since that fateful ride Stevil has initiated major lifestyle changes starting with the change in his name to "Goodness" and changing the title of his blog to "How to Avoid Eternal Damnation in Hell". Tim Parr, the leader of Swobo, noted, "I don't care if Stevil, I mean Goodness, worships the Flying Spaghetti Monster, as long as his blog is funny and he keeps moving product."

--Today's cycling news brought to you by Karl Rover