Blogs that suck time

my pooTUBE
my pUtube
my poopics

avoid the bummerlife

need to reach me? pedalhome at hotmail

Monday, August 20, 2007

on the crapper

well ... doesn't look like i can get into the ortho until tomorrow ... surgery sometime after that. which sucks. i'm thinking of firing up the new BBQ, grabbing a shaving mirror, a steak knife, and a third-hand tool and doing the gawdamn thing myself.

so, what ... will it be 6-8 weeks rehab?

screw that.

When i was a young buck i didn't know there was anything like bicycle racing. i was one of those ghetto-ball boys who talked shit into pick up games with the samoans and bruthas. but i also got pretty hooked on the baseball. yeah, as a nipper - it was a passion of mine.

i was riding my bike home from a practice once and overcooked a corner, straight into some retiree's mailbox. luckily the front of the property was all gowned in ivy, nice and soft for my summersault over the box after i planted my bars into it.

somethings never change.

i broke my left forearm somehow and was casted from the fingers to the elbow. Unfortunately, i was scheduled to participate in some sort of all-star thingie a few weeks later - and it was of huge importance to me. it was the first time i'd ever participated in an organized sport and i was putting all the passion into it ... that you might expect a little drub fukker like myself to do.

but, there i was - broken lil' wing in a sport that's all hands (i was a 'catcher'). I was devastated. The ER dipshits were casting me up and i told them i had IMPORTANT games coming up. He said "no." I went to the team practice the next day and the coach, a gawdamn swell of a guy if i ever knew one, but he, too, gave me the negatory.

but i told them all to eat biscuits and i got that thing healed in 17 days. 17 days and that cast was cut off and x-rays cleared.

and, as i recall, i played like shit.

but i played.


Velo Bella said...

well, poo



Chico Cyclist said...

Ah, you'll be back out there in no time. Heal fast!!

Kirkpatrick MacMillan said...

Did you sleep at a Holiday Inn last night?

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

all right, finally got confirmation on my surgery - it's Wed and i do the pre-op crap (otherwise known as, "how much we'll charge you, mr. hernandez") tomorrow morning.


i love challenges. in the meantime, i get to try and get my track supervisor authorization so i can lead some beginner sessions at the Hellyer'Drome and maybe, gasp, even promote a few races.


always silver linings to be found.

now, how do i practice cross mounts with one leg and one arm ...

Beth said...

i hear practicing madison throws helps the healing process.

PAB(a.k.a.CID) said...

sounds like you re feeling a bit better today. give em hell! (oh, but listen to Sabine)

I can see it now. October/November rolls along and we're out at Hellyer, shivering in the fall breeze.... "where'd everybody go? doesn't anyone wanna race?"

we can practice match sprints, i reckon.

Rye said...

At least you get surgery, I was hoping they were going to open me up and put some more TI in me. Mmmm Ti... but alas my Ortho thinks I need to have the classic cyclists bump. I go in on Friday for my 4 week x-rays, I'll try to get them so we can compare our damage.

dr-nitro said...

Hey, I'm a Dr., and after 13 years of chopping garlic in an Italian restaurant, I'm pretty good with a knife. Give that shoulder to me, Mike, and I'll have ya slinging and slogging on the bike no time quick.

Anonymous said...

I say yes. You still have one good arm. I suppose you could hand out water bottles at the battle-of-the-freshies this weekend.

But seriously, Injuries suck and nobody want to be a spectator. I'm waiting for lessons learned in all this. I haven't hear the details what you could have done at Dunnigan to prevent all this. Was it an unfortunate crossing-wheels incident?

Anonymous said...

I think you need to stop being a drama queen and quit typing for a while, give your arm and body a rest. The more you move around and are active right now, is bad for your injury. You need to settle down, take some time off the computer, and be good to your family and significant other.

Doctor Jeff

Anonymous said...

and you thought the Tour de France riders were silly for crashing so often!

Then you go out and go down, and then go down again.

Crashes happen at all levels, and even happen to better riders then you, as you see at the Tour.

I just hope you have a good surgery and the Doctor ties you back together well.

Good luck with everything,

Web Co

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

yup, i'll be at San Ardo taking pics and handing out bottles.

this crash, like my one a couple weeks back, was completely my fault. i looked back like a rookie, crossed wheels with the rider in front of me, and fell at 30mph.

the collarbone is all on me ... but, the calf getting run over was by some guy who never even touched his breaks. we were a good 75 meters off the front when i went down, plenty of time for everyone else to swing out around me ... but this one dude just plowed right into me.

man, that shit hurt.

so, the lesson learned is that i need to fukking pay attention out there. all these years of racing and now i've had to pay my dues with a couple of idiot crashes.

... i need to pay attention.

Sufferin' P said...

From my vantage point in 3rd wheel, it appeared to go something like this:
1) Pasco points out something on the road
2) Hernandez looks at it
3) Hernandez crashes to the ground for a much closer look

Then I heard somebody plowed into him after he'd been on the ground for about 5 seconds and the rest of the pack had avoided him. Nice.

Anonymous said...

Yeah that dude was stupid for you falling off in front of him. What was he doing that idiot! He should be expecting you to fall off and be ready to miss you grinding on the ground. What was he thinking, how could he make such a mistake?

Olaf you seem to know how to handle his bike, but couldnt even handle yours?

That guys team mate.

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

oh man, you just have to be loving this.

well, enjoy little man.

i'm sure you're just swimming in happiness with your life.

oh, and fuck off. tolerance for pencil dicks is fading.

Anonymous said...

He was blocked from seeing you..........
things are going to happen when you make those type of mistakes.

Anonymous said...

Give the dude a break, he did not want to run into your leg.

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

funny, i saw him coming at me for quite a bit of time ... enough to roll out of the way almost enough.

jesus christ on a stick - enough with this bullshit. i don't blame the guy - but i wish he wouldn't have hit me. and i blame myself for the crash.

and, i'm pretty gawdamn much in a bad mood at this point, so take your crap elsewhere for a few days, will you?

Anonymous said...

With all this poo talk
just remember...

if your feeling light headed

wear your helmet on the potty...

Anonymous said...

So much drama from one crash.
or was it two crashes?
or was it three crashes?

meh-wee-uhn said...

I'm secretly looking forward to being able say "Fetch me my cane boy!" and "Don't make me beat you with my cane."

And I may not even have to wait 60 years if I follow the Hernandohoot plan!

(Heal up soon, tho, eh?)

Anonymous said...

Get well soon Olaf, and it might be smart to wear yout helmet at all times for the next few months.
We love You!
Hugs & Kisses

Anonymous said...

I talked to him right after the incident, then on the drive home. He felt bad, and was bummed to get involved with the ordeal. He said he was blocked and never had a chance to react. So often when one fall happens it leads to other falls as well. So just take a chill pill and lets all move on please. But my team mate did not mean to plow into you.

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

of course he didn't.

whoever it was should know that the shit happens, so no worries.

blah, blah, blah ... movin' on.

FatCat 4 said...

Dear Anonymous "that guy's teammate" fella,

I think you dropped your lil' nutsack out on the Dunnigan Flats course on Saturday. I rode by in the Cat 4 race shortly after you and saw it there, abandoned, shriveling up under the sun.

You might want to go get it, make sure everything's still in there, sew it back on, then log back in and use your real ID next time you want to throw stones at folks with broken bones.

That's weak as hell, man.

Anonymous said...

ok tuff guy cat 4 racer.

seems to me the dude was just sticking up for his team mate who did not want to hit the first dudes leg who fell off.

he was getting punked all because he was blocked from seeing the first guy fall.

so just stop acting tuff and get your upgrade.

dr-nitro said...

Regardless of who or why, someone in the main pack must not have been paying attention. A simple "heads up" from whomever was in front should have stopped the second impact. Someone probably had their head down, though.

Mike paid the price for his lapse of attention.

It's not an issue of intent. This was an accident (unless this guy had it out for you for something your said on you blog, OV), let's learn from it and keep our old asses off the pavement next time.

Heads up.

Anonymous said...

Yeah! You should all just get over it and move on. The soap opera needs to get back to the action at Hellyer Park! That is where the real riders do their thing!
See you at Hellyer Olaf!
Track racing RULES!

dr-nitro said...

Oh no, there is never any soap at the track. You trackies are just probably too dizzy to see the suds.

Velo Bella said...

The nice thing about being anonymous is that you can pretend to be anyone, or several anyones.

with that kind of creative freedom, you would think the output would be more clever

Anonymous said...

I agree with Dr Nitro. If you are a Cat 4 racer, or a Masters racer, then you are basically just doing it to do it. So we all need to get along and stop pointing fingers at others, when the finger could easily be flipped at you.

We all are doing the best we can, I hope, so no need to cry over a spilled rider, just move on and learn from the mistake.

Olaf, take a break and get some rest!

Tom M.

Anonymous said...


jAndy donka-donk said...

at least you didn't have to make the "old tire" excuse public.....

I still get laughed at for the old tire, so much that I just plain changed it to "i'm a dumbass"

you will be fine. It may take a bit to get your body back, a year or so to build the fitness back solid, and a few to get your head back in working order. But you will be fine.

See you with camera in hand soon enough....

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

where's some pot when you need it

dr-nitro said...

Growing in your backyard?

jAndy donka-donk said...

the cookie makers should be on their way back from Chicago......

PAB(a.k.a.CID) said...

i left the blogworld for a couple hours, and came back to this.


i could esily score us some pot. but then we'd just get all silly and stupid and start eating everything in sight and i fukking HATE having cottonmouth and....


Anonymous said...

That was not Velo Bella who made that paranoid post,
is was someone making a fake post trying to be Velo Bella making a paranoid post.

FatCat 4 said...

Tom M -- I agree totally. Point taken.

In fact, sorry to have added to the negative vibe.

Get well soon, vanderhoot!

Anonymous said...

I thought that everyone in here was fake, and just olaf pretending to be everyone. All part of one big drama scene, and everyone pretending to be multiple people who try to be several people all at once?

After all, no one is someone who could be everyone? right?

See you on the Track Bella. And get better Olaf! We love you~ You are the best, not bike handling, but the best in this blog world!

Anonymous said...

Get well soon, PLEASE!

Anonymous said...

On a positive note, I really hope you take care and get a good doctor. Good luck with everything and no body is at fault here, accidents happen.

Anonymous said...

It is obvious that every annon post is fake, and someone trying to be several people.

You are right Velo Bella, but I am starting to think that that was the fake Velo Bella who made that post, that was actually Velo Fella who was pretending to be Velo Bella.

Anonymous said...

This is all so great,
get well soon Honey.

Anonymous said...

I think you all need to take a big bong hit, and drink some good ale, and lay back and relax.

The pot must be getting to Velo Bella who thinks that everyone is multiple people who is really one person.

But you all need to just relax, and Olaf needs to get some rest and get better.

let love rule.

X Bunny said...

i miss so much on the blogs on weekdays

ok, i know you are spouting and spewing but it's clear your doctor is going to have a pita to deal with

maybe almost as bad as the guy who cut his son's cast off his arm with some saw in his garage rather than bringing him back for me to do it

so you have goaded me into my doctor role and are in trubble for that but here i go

the reason you need to have surgery for this fracture is that it has a high rate of non-union, and even with the surgery, still has a small but not insignficant risk of non-union

so if you want it to heal, you need to give the bones the 4-6 weeks it takes at our advanced geezer age for them to have knitted enough strength across the fracture to hold when force is put across the area

blah blah blah

now do whatever you want

Anonymous said...

It takes seven pounds of directed force to break the clavicle? If bones heal at a linear rate (they prolly don't) then at 3 weeks perhaps even a 3.5 lb bump could start the whole mess over. Stay indoors.

Hmmm. Force = mass x acceleration. Perhaps the greatest indoor threat is kitty-attack. (Kitties weigh around 8lbs)


Sweet Cheeks said...

I want to be like you when I grow up.

Happy healing!