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Monday, March 26, 2007

at some point, it stops being "training"

3 easy steps to blowing a gasket:

Bob Newman of Delta Velo and i went out to bash our heads for a bunch of laps in the Hanford prosey crit. There was lots of oompf and whoops for the first 4 or 5 laps, and finally Bob and i were off the front nutting it pretty good.

We could see that boys were trying to jump across, but none made the gap so we just sighed and put our heads down to it. The gap hovered around 15 - 20 seconds for a good long while, all the time we're just up there banging against the wall in hopes that some decent horsepower will make it across and give us some help in this 45 lap race.

Finally, our own junkadonk (or as Fanelli calls him ~ Badonkadonk Butt) makes it across in a hustle when the gap had gotten down to a few seconds. His move deflated the pack a few moments and we three were able to put our meat on the table and ride hard for another baker's dozen laps, or so. Well, two of us were riding hard - as JAndy began pulling every 5 or 6 rotations. Apparently junkadonk was having some trouble handling his fancy new Cervelo and kept gapping himself off a bit in the corners ... that and he'd been given some questionable team tactics poured sour into his ear ... so, really it was still big Bob and me driving it as the laps counted down.

But, the pack finally caught us after some good long chasing and we were entering into the final 15 or 16 laps, i think. The counter attacks shot out immediately and one move looked too good to pass up. My BagBoys were snuffed on the right side for positioning so i had to bite the bullet and jump the field to get across. Junkadonk showed that he had more horsepower to give and was up in another little move that was almost there ... but, he missed the boat and none of his team made it across, either. Good - chase you buggar villians.

Anyway, I ended up shooting across to the move with that spunky little showboater, Grant Van Horn, in tow. It was a hoot having him and Logan Loaded get their junior gearing roll out done right in front of the prosey field at the start line ... talk about a little 'in-yer-face old man!' action. Anyway, even though Grant's got junior ratios on his bike ... he was ALWAYS over-geared and pedaling 85rpm. Every frickin' time i saw him.

ah well ... youth.

The break only had a handful of laps to ride it out and the field was pretty much broken from that point on - so, it was a decent amount of chess amongst the 8 left standing. BMC's Ken Hanson was the class of the bunch, showing that his sprinting legs really are NRC caliber. On the opening lap i jumped him pretty hard to take a prime ... and then they called another on the next lap. I tried to do the same jump and he just flat out hauled my ass down and pooped me out the back end.

i hate young talent like that.

... and he's all cute n' stuff.

Anyway, in the final break there was some big CalGiant rider who i've seen around but don't know much about. He was strong when on his gear, but probably would be less a factor in a pure sprint. There was Grant ... who didn't have enough acceleration to win the sprint, but had enough fitness to make a leap of it like he did at Orosi the day before to win it out of a 4-up break. There were a couple of Japanese guys who were visiting disneyland, or something. They were strong ... but, oooweee, talk about cornering issues. There was BigBadBosch of CVC who could win it anyway you play it, but is at his best when it's a long, knuckledragger of a sprint. And then there was Kevin Klein who is pretty much unremarkable and will cheap his way into whatever result he can.

As we went through the final lap, I figured i had one bullet left and wouldn't at all have minded helping one of the lowlies win it up if i couldn't take the prize myself. So, with the positioning treating it right, i attacked through a corner with Bosch and Grant on my wheel. I think one of the Japanese boys slung on, too. So, there was a slight gap with the break being split 4x4. I wound it up as best i could, hoping that the back four would make the BMC sprinter work a bit to cover the distance - maybe taking a bit of sting out of his sprint. But, it didn't matter much because by the time i hit 500m to go, my gasket went a-blowing and i left poor Bosch and Grant hanging in the wind. Grant took a few pedalstrokes into it in an attempt to launch, but sat back down with an audible, 'crap'.

The four reconnected and it was a final drag to the line. BMC's Hanson won it with a fistful of authority while Bosch did end up pulling out the silver.

Overall, it was damn good time. But, i was toast and sucked the ass-end of that break across the line.

ah well ~ youth.
- - -

here endeth this week's smacktalk session


Ippoc Amic said...

i wish we had video too...

X Bunny said...

you musta spent about 50 miles in breaks between the 2 races yesterday

i think you should explore winning in other ways before you upgrade

jAndy donka-donk said...

I guess no one looks down when they are behind me cuz they would notice that I have no butt......

And yeah, it should have been a three up after a long race of catch us if you can....

Its always good to have plans, but it is soooo much better when they work...

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

"i think you should explore winning in other ways before you upgrade"

... you are such a little smart ass.

- - -

junkinthetrunk - those boys chased us pretty good. i don't think we had the juice to stay away, regardless.

too bad you wouldn't have brought one more with you, though. that would have sealed the deal, i reckon.

but, when i saw you rocket out of the pack ... i knew there was little chance of anyone getting rope around your 'nonexistent' butt.

ah well.

many more opportunities for all that jazz to happen.

Chico Cyclist said...

Too fun - great report Olaf - love the smacktalk action!

bbElf (a.k.a. panda) said...

Xbunny just made me snortle.

Velo Bella said...

bunny funny

Dr. X said...

I guess those store-bought mini donuts & XL Gatorade were actually good 'tween race fuel... or, maybe the gasket blowin' was really badly timed sugar crashin'!

p.s. nice save on the lil girls crossing the race course!

Anonymous said...

I had fun in the prosey wosey race..........Chasin your ass down!

After your move with Bosch went I ditched it to the back and worked on my tan. Hid out so well PAB thought I was in the break.

Fun times and good job.


Anonymous said...


Cant foget the chocolate milk that went with it. Very what did I do with my pop tarts.


dr-nitro said...

Are you trying to make a pass at my homeboy Kenny H? Okay, he's cute and all, but you should have seen him when he had his mullet.

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

a mullet?

oh christ ... as if he wasn't euro-trash enough as is.

ah well, you gotta admit ... the boy can kick a skinsuit 3 ways from Dallas.

(i have no idea what that means ... but Sabine is making me dinner and we're crackin' open the belgian brews, so...)

Anonymous said...


Mullets, we need photo proof.


dr-nitro said...

Buddy, in case you did not notice, we're all doing the euro trash thing, peddling around in our tight little spandex numbers on skinny tires and skinnier seats. And oh yeah Belgian beers.

The Sage said...

Dude check out new kits out.

jAndy donka-donk said...

We are all men in spandex....

Must we also be men in light blue? What is up with the perrty light blue phase of Norcal Kits?