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Monday, December 04, 2006

where that prick novak and wicked Zap see eye to eye

if you're the type who gets rapt up in this kind of stuff ...

you'll be rewarded with it.


... hot for teacher ~ oh man, it feels so good.

Zappa. how i miss you, daddy-O.
---


and to bring dat shit home ...

this is the crap i don't need to see on cyclingnews.com

are you fukking kidding me?

... but never by legislation. n'est pas?

13 comments:

PAB said...

cool, i'll watch zappa with my morning coffee.

wher's that photo from? looks like nervada...

FreshOne said...

This little number says it all


Catholic girls
With a tiny little mustache
Catholic girls
Do you know how they go?
Catholic girls
In the rectory basement
Father rileys a fairy
But it dont bother mary
Catholic girls
At the cyo
Catholic girls
Do you know how they go?
Catholic girls
There can be no replacement
How do they go, after the show?

Joe:
All the way
Thats the way they go
Every day
And none of their mamas ever seem to know
Hip-hip-hooray
For all the class they show
Theres nothing like a catholic girl
At the cyo
When they learn to blow...

Father riley:
Theyre learning to blow
All the catholic boys!

Mary:
Warren cuccurullo...

Father riley:
Catholic boys!

Mary:
Kinda young, kinda wow!

Father riley:
Catholic boys!

Mary:
Vinnie colaiuta...

Chorus:
Where are they now?
Did they all take the vow?

Father riley:
Catholic girls

Warren:
Carmenita scarfone!

Father riley:
Catholic girls

Officer butzis:
Hey! she gave me vd!

Father riley:
Catholic girls!

Warren:
Toni carbone!

Chorus:
With a tongue like a cow
She could make you go wow!

Joe:
Vd vowdy vootie
Right away
Thats the way they go
Every day
Whenever their mamas take them to a show
Matinee
Pass the popcorn please
Theres nothing like a catholic girl
With her hand in the box
When shes on her knees

Larry:
She was on her knees,
My little catholic girl

Chorus:
In a little white dress
Catholic girls
They never confess
Catholic girls
I got one for a cousin
I love how they go
So send me a dozen
Catholic girls
Ooooooh!
Catholic girls
Ooooooh!
(etc.)

Central scrutinizer:
This is the central scrutinizer...
Joe had a girl friend named mary.
She used to go the church club every week.
Theyd meet each other there
Hold hands
And think pure thoughts
But one night at the social club meeting
Mary didnt show up...
She was sucking cock backstage at the armory
In order to get a pass
To see some big rock group for free...

Anonymous said...

Zappa. So hot back then.

Anonymous said...

Hail Zappa, it's hard to beleive it's been 13 years.
He was a a genius

FreshOne said...

Then of course we all know what happens when one leads a life of sleezery.

Backstage at the local armory, mary, in her little white dress, is wiping the remnants of her performance off the side of her mouth as larry (the guy from the garage who quit the band in order t
E an honest living) zips up the front of his stinking boiler suit and sings to the same teen-age girls who were stomping and clapping a little while ago, as they kneel with their little pink mou
Pen near the crew bus, hoping to save the price of admission by performing acts of hooverism on the jolly lads who set up the p.a. system.

Larry:
Hey hey hey all you girls in these
Industrial towns
I know youre probly gettin tired
Of all the local clowns
They never give you no respect
They never treat you nice
So perhaps you oughta try
A little friendly advice
And be a crew slut
Hey, youll love it
Be a crew slut
Its a way of life
Be a crew slut
See the world
Dont make a fuss, just get on the bus
Crew slut
Add water makes its own sauce
Be a crew slut
So you dont forget, call before midnite tonite
The boys in the crew
Are just waiting for you
You never to get move around
You never go nowhere
I know yer probly gettin tired
Of all the guys out there
You always wondered what its like
To go from place to place
So, darlin, take a little ride
On the mixers face
Be a crew slut
Just follow the magic footprints
Be a crew slut
Hey, youll love it!
Be a crew slut
Its a way of life
I aint gonna squash it
And you dont need to wash it!
Crew slut
Hey, Ill buy you a pizza
Crew slut
Of course Ill introduce you to warren
The boys in the crew
Are only waiting for you

At this point, the road crew, as all road crews must from time to time, borrow some of the big rock groups equipment and have a blues jam session, indicating to the kneeling maidens that they a
Dowed with a great deal of raw talent, as well as massive meat. obviously impressed with larrys ability to suck so hard on his harmonica that screeching little noises come out of it, mary kneel
In and reaches upward in gestures of supplication, listening intently as larry continues to sing...

Larry:
Well you been to alabama, girl,
n georgia too
n all the boys in the crew
Is bein good to you
I know yer sayin to yourself
this is the way to go
cause when you need a little extra
They will give you some mo
`cause youre the crew slut

Mary:
Eh, hah ha, Im into leather...

Larry:
Thats good! a lot of the boys in the crew love leather...

Mary:
And rubber...

Larry:
Yeh, they like rubber too...shrink-tubing
With a hair dryer...

Road crew chorus:
Trade your spot on the bench
For a guy with a wrench
And be a...

Mary:
Ha ha ha...

Larry:
You like that, huh?
I told you youd love it...
Its a way of life!

Road crew chorus:
The guys in the crew
Have got a present for you!
Ren nah naaah
Ren nah naaah
Ren nah naaah

Mary:
A present for me?

Road crew chorus:
Ren nah naaah
Ren nah naaah
Ren nah naaah

Larry:
Hmmm, we got a present for you!

Road crew chorus:
Ren nah naaah
Ren nah naaah
Ren nah naaah

Mary:
Whaddya got?

Road crew chorus:
Ren nah naaah

Mary:
Whaddya gonna give me?

Road crew chorus:
Ren nah naaah
Ren nah naaah

Larry:
It looks just like a telefunken u-47
Youll love it...

Mary:
With leather?

Central scrutinizer:
Eh errr, eh eh...this is,eh, the central scrutinizer again...
And so mary was enticed away from joe
By an evil barbarian with a wrench in his pocket
Lured into a life of sleazery
With the entire road crew of some
Famous rock group
(I dont know whether it was really toad-o or not
...i dont know... Ill check it out)
Again we see
Music
Causing
Big trouble!

FreshOne said...

Sleazery

Anonymous said...

this is how dump i am...i thought pamela anderson in VeloNews?

Anonymous said...

i am so dump!

PAB said...

"why should I be smiling when I'm sitting next to you...."

Anonymous said...

crew slut.

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

oh, that kicks ass...

FreshOne said...

http://www.lyricsfreak.com/f/frank+zappa/albums.html

Hernando if you are a true fan you will love this site,it has lyrics to all of the master's work.

And yet another classic..



Shortly after his liaison with the taco stand lady, joe makes a horrible discovery...

Joe:
Why does it hurt when I pee?
Why does it hurt when I pee?
I dont want no doctor
To stick no needle in me
Why does it hurt when I pee?
I got it from the toilet seat
I got it from the toilet seat
It jumped right up
n grabbed my meat
Got it from the toilet seat
My balls feel like a pair of maracas
My balls feel like a pair of maracas
Oh God I probably got the
Gon-o-ka-ka-khackus!
My balls feel like a pair of maracas
Ai-ee-ai-ee-ahhhh!
Why does it
Why does it
Why does it
Why does it hurt...when i
Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?

the old bag said...

an excellent vid.