bibliomancy (BIB-lee-o-man-see) noun
Divination by interpreting a passage picked at random from a book, especially from a religious book such as the Bible.
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so, awhile back EclectaFemme had this post about picking up a book and flopping it open so it could tell you if your life means anything. I've been wanting to test out the fates for a while now .. but just haven't taken the time. Apparently, all you do is grab one of your favorite books and toss it open, letting the gods offer you the straight poop through random readin'.
that sounds cool.
So, i was thinking of maybe using one of my cherished books from Austen, or maybe Hugo ... hey, how about Sedaris?. But, all those lovelies are at home and today i decided it was high time to flush out my future so i'd just have to use whatever book at work i could find.
Ok, so let's see what's on my desk ...
- Contraceptive Technology (17th edition) ... mmm, better not. No need to tempt the supernaturals with any hints of procreations. i can't even feed the dog on time.
- HIV/AIDS Treatment Directory ... well, i can tell you that i really DON'T want to know myself better through that one. No way in hell i want anything in my future to run through that route.
- Effective Training in Reproductive Health: Africa ... jayzus, this is not looking good. i've got to have something better buried in this desk.
... oh wait ~ HERE we go:
- - - "The Dieter's Guide to Weight Loss During Sex" by Richard Smith.
well, hell yeah ... that'll do the trick!
OK, let's see how this bibliofancy works. Here are the step-by-step instructions:
1. Pick a book you trust a lot. (hmm ... not much more i trust than sexy weight loss)
2. Put it on its spine, and let it fall open. (damn ... it's too thin and old ~ I'll just have to stick my letter opener in there at a random place ... mmm, sticking my opener in there ...)
3. With your eyes closed, trace your finger to a passage. (easy enough)
4. Interpret the passage as your lifemap to the future. (finally!)
Lifemap to the future? all righty then, here we go:
During sex, a strong grip is needed for everything from extending a hearty handshake to pickup up fruit. It is especially vital for clinging to your partner should things get really good. For the woman who wants to win skirmishes or have her partner in her power during tickling sessions, a secure grip is essential.
i see my future before me ... and it fills me with great happiness.
thank you gods!