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Monday, July 17, 2006

that's gonna get you in trouble one day...

so ~ at this road race last week, there was a "pull-up the panties and let 'er rip" downhill on the course ... 60+ mph without tryin' much.

With a pre 8am start on top of a 3K mountain, there was quite a bit of fog cloggin' up the visualizations and more dampness on the road than most people consider safe for pedalin'. We had a decent-sized field as we lined up under the banners, and it seemed everyone was stompin' their feet with blood lust and patience-be-damned. I don't know what was worse - getting sprayed by the road grime from wheels, or all the splashings of drool these beasts were throwin' out from the bits in their chompers.

And so, with visibility less than a softball throw and the rain thicker than the Austin twang of the guy who said, 'hell, the longest climb we got back home is a kilometer,' we dashed away from the line in a more than moderate sprint. A few minutes later we would find ourselves descending break-neck all the way to the bottom end of the course. It was a no-scrub, suck in the sphincter affair ... down the mountain as fast as you could through the muck and the slop, with a pack of blind lemmings followin' each other, reekin' of testosterone, caffeine and glory juice.

This race was on, baby.

. . .

as we dropped like the brainless rocks we were, i couldn't help but enjoy myself. i love the highest speeds. and what's more, i'm so damn evil ... i love rubbin' it in to those poor schleps who don't have either the good health care or the pounding egos coursin' through their veins.

and so, while most of the other boys were shakin' and quakin' in dread of what might be coming upon them on the drippery slippery roads of mach speeds and mushy-glass controlling ... i was smiling and buzzing around them, through them, past them ... like an evil smirking imp, let loose to harass and bedevil their poor wretched souls.

i'm such a jerkwad.


Velo Bella said...

now you are in trubble
all over again.

When I say, "be safe" just before you take off and you smle and nod "yes sweetie", this is not what I have in mind.

but you might get out of trubble just for the posting of the Ambiguously Gay Duo

nosajpalnud said...

did you do the foot on the seat stretch thing as well?

X Bunny said...

the ambiguously gay duo is almost as good as
powdered toast man

and he's just plain showing off when he gets in front of you on the downhill and starts stretching

nosajpalnud said...

what would really be showing off is holding that pos. and then pedaling uphill one-legged

VeloRainDog said...

jerkwad -- don't say it like it's a bad thing.

Hick said...

You make me sad I missed such fun.


Kirkpatrick MacMillan said...

Great post. One of your best.

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