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Wednesday, June 28, 2006

WMS (weenie measurement syndrome)

yes, i suffer from this ailment like the rest of us 2nd biters.

- - -

Egads, last nite the training motivation levels were too low for me to overcome. I was limp and lax and just plain not able to muster the mustard. And so, with a weak mind and a hungry belly, I went out in search of the dirty treats that only a local group-ride can offer. Here in hippie-land, it's the PigglyWiggly smash and grab ride (or, as DougeeFresh calls it ~ the Tuesday Nite Fights).

The group started off brisk and fertile, a few boys leading out the ride with man-sized efforts. All was good and glad until folks started rolling in the middle of the roadway, looking back for guys to 'pull through.' Then, later in the ride they would pin it in the gutter for the crosswind sections to try and make all the lonelies in the back suffer big explosions.

I'm all cool with making people suffer ... but, i like to do it safe and honorable-like. So, I would keep going to the front, making as much room for eschelon draft as I could and taking extra care to keep my pulls in the safe-zone for traffic.

I know this is old-man bullshit and I've no reason to get out there and wax Capt. Safety on anybody - but, you gotta do what you gotta do, you dig?

Besides, them boys was strong and most were damn cool. It's just, these young bucks who want to measure up need to know that you can have the biggest meat and still show it in a way that don't squirt people in the eye.


Merkeley Bike said...

Good point but...did you win?

Lothar Glerbny said...

Sounds familiar...and good advice for how to respond.

Anonymous said...

Was a regular on that ride for 5 years - it is meant to be a hard training ride for those of us not hard-core enough to get it in all Hans solo like. Not one crash ever resulted from putin it in the gutter and givin er. To the contrary - a "natural selection' on that section makes for safer subgroups and it gets more dangerous when the selection is not made. Learn the rides before you are quick to judge... Can't speak for what happens lately - but it is hard to 'learn' how to race if everyone is always giving you a draft on the 'hard ride"....

PAB said...

yeah whatever.

group rides still suck.

and i quote...

"if it isn't solo, it isn't training. it's socializing..."

PAB said...

btw, my motivation today was just enough to work on the driveway and plant two hibiscus plants and a tree.


Olaf Vanderhoot said...

"Not one crash ever resulted from putin it in the gutter and givin er."

... uh, the ride a few weeks back had one.

"but it is hard to 'learn' how to race if everyone is always giving you a draft on the 'hard ride'"

i hear what you're sayin', anony. but, class is class. If you can put the hammer down and do it in a safe way, why not do it? Bouncing around in the gutter with guys who have neither the skill nor the fitness really isn't going to help anyone learn how to race. It just makes the 4 or 5 guys in front feel a bit manlier and shaves off guys in the back who learn nothing but, 'damn, those guys are strong.' And mostly, it just endangers folks for no good reason.

i know everyone wants to get protective of their group rides. I do it, too. But trust me, i've done more group rides than most. I've done them from east to west coast and all the rockies in between. The best group rides are also the safest. The best learning done for racing on training rides is also the most generous, least ego-bound, and most good-naturedly vicious.

This ride in the SC is a good one, but does have it's silliness. Like we all do.

right on.

Hick said...

Nice post

For a second I thought you visited Fresno and didn't call to say hi.


Olaf Vanderhoot said...

da'PAB - you know i don't follow good advice.

and man, quit working on that house. you're sounding all domestic n' stuff.

Merkeley - damn you crack me up. oh, and i blew right through the turn before the 'finish line.'

i'm such a wank.

lothar - you resting up (while at work).

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

hick - i'm growin' more like yo' buckwheat ass everyday.

Gianni said...

I like our little lunch-fests. I always keep in mind to communicate to new folks what is happening and give them a out before the sprint busts out.
We generally give people lots of slack when blowing apart, unlike other rides I have been on.
I think you can be social and play hard at the same time.

Olaf Vanderhoot said...


vanilla ice said...

i raced a fellow grayhair on my commute home...he was stubborn, angry and mean...i was equal the a-hole...he was on a 28lb mtb...we traded blows down chrissy field barely exchanging a with my odd fitting backpack, him on his wobbling iron horse...i had the superior weapon but it didn't matter to me...the victory was sweet 'cause only i know where the race ends...betcha he thinks he won too.

X Bunny said... more complaints from me about lack of people to ride with...

and pab is so cute when he is domestic (and, besides, he can't help it because a fortune cookie said so)

diskzero said...

It sounds like Vanilla Ice was participating in what us on this side of the hill call the Foothill Olympics. A nice commute home turns into a grim hammerfest as silent competitiors pull past one another, holding thier breath in an attempt to seem like their pull is effortless.

I dont think you should ever learn how to race on a group ride on a public road. No offense, but the open road is not a place to hone all of your racing skills. And yes, I did the Valley Ride last night, even though I complain about group rides. And yes, guys were taking risks that would fly in a race but could result in instant death on a public road.

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

diskO healthy again?

right on.

diskzero said...

Yes, a brief moment of health before leaving for a two week trip with no bike. :( I did get my 3 upgrade, so I am looking forward to holding your wheel for about 10 seconds before getting dropped during CalCup geezer races

bbElf (a.k.a. panda) said...

Tee hee. Those guys crack me up. I used to do a group ride where one guy would always warn me that it would go too fast for a girl and then hammer until he dropped me and slow to a reasonable pace right after. I would follow the ride at the same gap until they stopped, then more of the same.

Boy, though, wasn't he surprised when I started getting better results than him? And THAT was what made it all victory.

Nome Agusta said...

PAB, I whole heartedly dissagree.
Our group ride has turned JAMFs into some pretty bad ass racers. They have learnt how to read a sprint, how to conserve for a climb, and how to handle the bike.
For me, I can still do training, hills provide a place for climbing accelarations. Then when that next ubber geezer starts getting his motor back you have someone new to push you harder than you can yourself. That last sprint makes you go a little deeper cause you don't want that sumbitch to beat you at the Tuesday Worlds.
Training solo is like trying to bite your own hand and draw blood. 99% of the population can't even break the skin. Maybe Olaf can, but the World would be pretty boring if we were all like Olaf.
We don't get paid for this silly bike thing, may as well keep it fun.

One rule though, New Jacks get Smacked.

PAB said...

nome, thank you for being consistent.

i never have even the foggiest notion what you are talking about...

Nome Agusta said...

Yeah right. I think you know more than you let on.
Can I get a Moo?

PAB said...


moo you.

X Bunny said...

i find it easier to use sharp objects to draw blood from my hand