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Wednesday, May 10, 2006

wayward hooliganism

pedaling into work today ~ dropping over fog-laden hills, pushing past chug-a-smug audimobiles and dancing a jig or two on the speedplays ... i was flashed-back in the mentals to my very first bike race. It was sometime back in the late 90's when I had made the swap from tri to bi-geek.

oh, what a menace was i.

To describe my freddiness ... let me pick a few items of illustration:

  1. my first 5 flats = taken to a bike shop to fix.

  2. chain lube?

  3. 53/42 x 12/21 ... ugh.

  4. green BELL helmet, four sizes ginormous and always slopped 45 degrees off the noggin.

  5. white sleeveless jersey ... every damn day.

  6. cadence = 6

  7. sprint = ... uh, you have to sprint?

  8. training = time trial ... every ride ... time trial.

  9. 37 degrees ... "knee warmers? what are those?"

  10. "i can't wait for the group ride!"

Weather was not a consideration as I drove to my first bike race. It was an early March affair in the southwest where shorts and jersey are standard issue 9 months out of the year. But, as I rolled into the parking lot for the race, so too did one of those freaky high desert storms that wail and buffet like only the schizophrenic can.

No gloves, no leggings, no booties ... no worries. "I'll be warm once we get going." - famous last words. I have never, ever been that cold since. I recall the snow caked on my lips and eyebrows. I recall the total inability to shift or even grab the brake levers. And most of all, I recall the 3 man break getting away from us early because the snow storm had blurred us into inactivity. Damn it ... i shoulda made that break.

My first bike race, like every one of my bike races since ... logged, mapped out, relished.

me = lucky bastard

31 comments:

Nate Rogers said...

cmon now! i still rock the sleeveless cut off jersey in the summer...

Benjaminiac said...

i wanna see pics of the hell-mut and no-sleevies...

Gianni said...

I still have a giant green Bell helmet. And it's a damn fine day to wear a sleeveless net jersey. But the shortie-shorts? Tossed dem long ago.......

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

i think i'm gonna head out for some pre-lunch sleevelessness right now.

PAB said...

I have done soooo many races....

20 yrs x avg of 50(60?) races per year = too many to remember with such clarity...

but i DO remember that 1st one. not as epic as yours, but kinda funny in its own way.

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

and i know you had jersey worth remembering.

oy.

and, i think i've seen footage of an early generation helmet on you, as well.

lord we're dorks.

PAB said...

yeah, 'cept for #s 1 and 7, that pretty much summed up my bikie beginnings as well.

Probably sums it up for lot's of folks...

oh, and I was 52/42 x 13-21 (6 speed)

hooray for dorks.

shawndoggy said...

How about thinking with three laps to go whilst on the front and dragging the rest of the group around that "I'm killing these guys... I might win it!" before being swallowed and subsequently spit out the back with 1 to go. Like, um, duh.

Or my first MTB race in 1993 where I had to stop to pick up my car keys which fell out of my ginormous saddle pouch, along with about another 9.8 lbs of tools which apparently I could not go without for 90 minutes....

VeloRainDog said...

#9 = my first two years of roadie riding. my poor, poor knees.

X Bunny said...

no wonder you never liked my green helmet

X Bunny said...

oh, and your helmet would still be way off the side of your head if they hadn't invented those head lock things

Nome Agusta said...

Classic!

But appearantly the sideways helmet thing took a while to get fixed.
http://www.printroom.com/ViewgalleryPhoto.asp?userid=abbiorca&gallery_id=165720&image_id=62

Brent Chapman said...

Hell.. i remember back when we had wood square wheels..
And shaving came by standing too close to the flames next to the bonfire at the beach.

I had a helmet that I peeled the plastic cover off of and had a friend airbrush custom paint on it. The intent was to look like some "Alien" Giger deal, instead i put some damn clear coat on and it melted it into a Camo effect! That was the best.

Wuss.

I still dont wear knee warmers in the snow.

diskzero said...

The rule is, you can only wear sleeveless as a roady if you were on Team Saeco with Cippo in the 90's.

Velo Bella said...

I wore a white sleeveless jersey today in your honor

I'm gonna wear it again tonight for you

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

meow, baby.

meow.

Hick said...

Love it!

I was such a fukin dork of dorks.

Bad thing is this year at Santa Curz on of my old teamy's from about 89-90 recognized my name and came to say hi. That was cool but his vibrant memory of my mullet was less than thrilling.

Nice to be an old cat.

MS

Hick said...

Sorry for the miss-spelling but its my b-day and I'm drunk.

Love it!

ms

heyriiider... said...

#10.

Chico Cyclist said...

Dude, I love this post!! Got me retro-grouching again. Too fun.

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

i sense a classic pic to be seen on da'Chico later tonite...

and Happy B-Day Sassy ... what, 48 now?

heyriider ... they're like heroin.

BChappy - you don't ride in the snow, you big SC-softie. one weekend in Reno does not a mountain hardman make.
... though, that hick-ass farmer tan you're sporting from the Gila does start you on a nice lil' path.

bjm - be careful ... you've a photo trail of your own that can be displayed. and i don't need gin's chopshoppin' skills to exploit them!

shawndoggy ... garage workouts. 'nuff said.

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

vDog - what gearing you using now? my motto is ... if there ain't a 25t on it, i ain't steppin over it.

bunnyX - you better have burned that damn turtle cap.

gnome - doh!

disk0 - skinsuits, baby. the cipo skinsuits.

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