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Monday, May 08, 2006

hello crappy race report

gawdamn bike racing.

Coupla days of critty-crits to fill the time and burn the lungs this weekend. On Saturday a bunch of us BagBoys went on up to Suckramento for the Rio Strada crits. It was the first time us geezers got to play in the p/1/2 field before our normal geriatrics race ... so, that was fun.

Ended up being me n' 7 others in a break for most the day. After a bit of geezer mentoring, we ended up getting our goof together and rode away from the field. I did my best to lash them kids, but for some reason those boys wouldn't let me go and I ended up finishing ass-end of the break. I'm going to have to be on gawdamn good form to ride away from those kids. Soon.

Luckily, MIT-Reade saved our egos with a storming 5 laps solo effort in the geezer race. What a win. We covered everything pretty damn well and had ourselves a good time. To add dollars to the beer fund, Captain Bennett nailed 2nd, as well. yippee. Actually, we had 3 BagBoys in the top 10 with PAB getting 7th. Not bad for a bunch of blackards.

- - -

Sunday was, apparently, my turn to block up the toilet. In the geezer's race, me n' Bosch went away late and I did my best to sap out his sprinter's legs. On the last lap I attacked that sum'bitch twice and had a decent lil' gap coming into the final meters ~ but his horsepower was bigger than mine and he nipped around me in the final couple pedalstrokes.


Then, in the prosey's race ... another long break-day with delaFuentes, hawknose Briggs, LaBergey, and Bosch again. Fuentes did most the work with Bosch a strong 2nd. Those guys really made the break stick and were pulling damn hard, damn fast. I didn't miss pulls and was pedaling with everything I had, but I was definitely the weakest link. I hate being the weakest link. And, of course, Briggs only pulled the bare minimum.

With 6 to go, Laberge started flat out sitting on and the other boys were getting nervous about his sprinting prowess. I just kept rolling through as hard as I could to keep the speed up because the pack was only 30 seconds back. I wasn't about to waste all that pain by getting swarmed up the ass on lap 0.

Bosch tried taking Laberge off the back but they both made it back on. Dean acquiesced and started taking pulls again - but they were just soft pedals. Well, as we closed in on the final lap I figured I might as well be the sacrificial lamb and start the fireworks. With 4 sprinters and little ole 98 pound weakling me, I figured snapping them with recovery would be my only chance. I stole away first, but Fuentes drug me back. We had a little gap and so I pulled a few pedalstrokes after he made contact to see if he wanted to go away - nope. He knows what I think about his steroid test and I think we'll be doing this kind of battle for a long time to come. Ah well.

Briggs countered when the rest caught on and nobody chased. I attacked 3 more times to get away, each one weaker than the last. My legs went rubbery like the Trojan factory. It was pathetic and I was done.

And so, 5th.

7th, 2nd, 5th. me=crap. But, i sure did have fun and my form is coming up, up, up.

so ... mission accomplished.

here endeth the gay race report.


bbElf (a.k.a. panda) said...

High placings were awarded to you & the under-tent crew for cheering the mint on in Sunday's big girl race, though. Thanks much!

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

you just wait 'till i bust out the minty-fresh pics!

diskzero said...

Dude! Not a bad showing at all, especially since the pro race sapped you of some of your vital essence before the master race. Anyway, aren't hilly road races where your real skills come to light?

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

hilly crits!

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

oh, and the 'vital essence' was back in flow this morning.

mmm ...

Velo Bella said...

thats what was missing...

Velo Bella said...

just peeped out that photo of Fuente in the frente...

Damn his legs are huge. All of you can fit behind one of them.

VeloRainDog said...

hilly crits? if only there were a hilly crit looming on the calendar.

see ya saturday.

Dr. X said...

Me dream of 7th place one day. Nice work gay OV!

Nome Agusta said...

MAN! Quit whinning! You spanked some youngins serious!

When you and BB rode away from a HUGE charging break, we were about to send you to the Med booth for testing. The to do it again in the Prosies?

Me = retiring to do centuries and race announcing with the rest of the wankers.

Nome Agusta (professional blocker)

Velo Bella said...

med testing would have found:

a. lots of spinach
b. weird fake meat burger things
c. waaaaaay too much wine

X Bunny said...

the burners have definitely getting turned up as the flames were licking up higher this weekend

you should be downright scary on fire on no time

and you're already flaming

Gianni said...

Damn I need more spinach! Lot's of fun to watch both of those afternoon races, not the ordinary snoozefest-till-one-to-go-deal. Pure savage-type-racing, gotta love it!

Benjaminiac said...

it seems that "fuentes" and "drug" should always be used to reference each other.

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

caught that, did ya?

Hick said...


Bosch was flowing love your way in our post race phone convo.

You must have gone mad and made him work double double hard to sqweek out the win, as he doesn't hand out complements about non-team guys very often.

I was busy nursing a hangover from making then helping drink 2 galons of Sangria Saturday Night, DOH.

I'll be back this weekend ready to play.


X Bunny said...

just re-read my comment
so many grammatical/typo errors i don't even know where to start

better just be quiet for a little while


hoping to have dial-up back at home tues or wed!!

L. Christmas said...

dude... that was race report was so not gay! sick attacking (wish I was there to see)!!

alicat said...


We're eagerly awaiting the minty-fresh pics. In the meantime, here's some minty-fresh poetry...

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

workin' on the pics right now ... and lovin' the minty-fresh poetry.

hell yeah.

Hick said...


nosajpalnud said...

Nice to meet ya at GS. Man those attacks were just relentless. Tried to rally up some troops to catch your solo guy after the prime lap (4 to go). Figured that would catch folks off guard since the prime was already in the bag. Covered too many attacks earlier and needed at least one helper, but no takers. They all seemed to want to wait for the bunch sprint for 2nd. Fun race though.

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