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Wednesday, December 07, 2005

profess-sionalism

Juiced on crap office coffee and a bag o' chocolate ~ i was spinning along quite nicely this mornin' until ploddy-boybob commented on my slight gimp as i rose out of the cubefarm.

I guess since there's no cast, no bleeding gashes, no grimaced expressions on the face .... i don't qualify as the official injured. PloddyBob is the same cat who always has to throw in the banal comment about my 'phone booth' changes of clothes after the morning commutes. every gawdamn morning.

You know, some things don't ALWAYS have to be topics of conversation.
Anyway, Ploddy decided that he needed to make fun of my slight limp and gimp.

"What ... did you pull a butt muscle riding your bike this weekend?"

An innocuous inquiry, yes? But oh, it's in the delivery my friends. It is in the delivery. His mouth may have asked a harmless question, but his eyes held nothing but attempted mock and contempt.

Ah well ... such is the nature of our world.

Perhaps it was the coffee, perhaps it was the chocolate, perhaps it was the giddy anticipation running rampant through my system right now -- but, whatever the impulse, today was the day to give Ploddy a taste.

"No, didn't pull a muscle ~ just had a really bad masturbation experience last night ... and i'm sore as all fuck."

now go away, little ploddy.

6 comments:

X Bunny said...

oh you are killing me--i'm not going to be able to stop laughing all day

Anonymous said...

damn funny stuff Vanderhoot!

PAB said...

H, go ahead and use that remaining lube--don't want you injuring yourself any further--and xb seems to have found the source for more....

oh, were you kidding???

did you really fall off your freakin bike AGAIN?!

Dan Cleary said...

Self pleasure injuries... painfully nice.

As I read through the recount, I thought Mrs. Ploddy was going to take the hit for that injury;)

the old bag said...

excellent comeback!

Anonymous said...

The pain in jealousy.