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Wednesday, December 14, 2005

dr exhaustus

to be,
this deprived,
yet gorged.

to need,
more than want,
yet fear the finding.

to have,
far on horizon,

this sun fading.


Olaf Vanderhoot said...

since you asked ~

1. 'deprived' used in description of the short sweet, nourishing taste you've given me. You've causing a riot of hunger in me. I'm famished for more of you, even though you've been nothing more than a fleeting touch on my tongue.

'gorged' used because every word you say into the box and every letter you type, i'm stuffing inside me like a crazed winter squirrel hugging goldenly perfect acorns to it's chest.

deprived = starving, wasting away without, suffering from an obstacle in the way a natural, necessary progression.

'gorged' = an urgent, crazed over-indulgence for, in this case, any thing that tastes of you ... notes, letters, your voice saved in a little box and recalled into existence as i huddle around it, grinning like an addict.

2. 'need more than want' = no choice in the matter. To want is something to turn on and turn off, as a switch. To need, however, is what you are to me. An unstoppable, unquelchable, unbiddable need.

Yet, what do we know of each other ~ other than these shades we've painted for each other? = 'fear the finding.'

3. And so, here we are, later in life, finding brightness after fumbling about for how many years? And how many more chances will we get? = 'sun fading.'

Will i miss this chance? Will you fall away from me, slowly, inevitably as a lonely, lovely sun sets over a distant horizon?

achingly beautiful, you are to me.


PAB said...

hey, i like this.

i propose that from now on, all poetic material be accompanied by complete explanations/translations, so the dullards of the world (like me) will be able to more fully understand and appreciate....

X Bunny said...

wow, she sure has some power if she can get a vanderhoot poem translated for everyone

however, i think this post should be renamed "obsession"

PAB said...

yeah, that IS sort of an odd title.

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

hint = ever read any CMarlowe?


bunny soup.

Velo Bella said...

Isn't he the come live with me and be my love guy?

Velo Bella said...

aahh...I get it. Clever boy

Olaf Vanderhoot said...


~ smile ~


Skibby said...

X Bunny said...

perfect skibby

Anonymous said...

I can faintly, sorta, very vaguely remember feeling this way in the days of zits and milli vanilli. It's been a LONG time, though. 'course, now, fifteen some-odd years later, after dropping out of college to chase her to the ends of the earth, she still lies beside me. Sometimes you've gotta GO FOR IT... though for me in those days there was a lot less to lose too.

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

"zits and milli vanilli"

oh man, that is some rich shit.

~ right gawdamn on ~