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Wednesday, December 21, 2005

couldn't resist

ah... the holidays are a time for joyous reflection, n'est pas?

scalped this from the SGP

... and who the hell knows where he ripped it.


"I know that many of you are leaving early this week and I really wanted to send out some sort of holiday greeting. This can be an arduous task in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending someone.

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "AMERICA" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, or other preferences of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:

  1. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.
  2. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
  3. Finally this wish does not necessarily represent the views nor opinions of the sender, his family, extended or immediate, friends and the corporation or other entity of employment of any aforementioned individuals."


X Bunny said...

pab's going to like this one--will probably be great to read when he comes home from shopping!

Anonymous said...

Credit must go to Olechny.


Olaf Vanderhoot said...

the O-dog.

shoulda known.

PAB said...

She knows me so well.

Don't know the O, but if he (she?)
is a dog, I'd like to give em scratches behind the ears for that one!

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

i'll be sure to pass on the message.

but, he's married to a hottie of a biker-chick, so you may not get the receptive leg wiggle when you scratchy-scratchy.