shower

Today I emphasize how much I am inconvenienced by shaving. It takes precious time away from my morning rituals and victuals. And, it stings a bit (me being delicate and all). Jumpin jahova, I guess I am cutting off some of the face. One of them, anyway.

'Have a beard,' you say?

Gawdallmighty, ever seen one of those adolescent birds that stumbles around the nest like it's drunk or retarded? The bird parents look on and shake their heads in habitual exasperation.

In my attempts at facial hair, I take a strong resemblance to such nerdly birdlings. We share a plumage mottled in both density and coloration, and suffer the puffed up dizzy expression of one just emerging from a vigorous warm-towel rubbing.